


as long as you're with me, i think i'll be okay

by ghstgrl



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon!Shane, M/M, Ryan is scared, first time writing an unsolved fic so please dont hate me too much haha, human ryan lol, idk what tags to put on this oops, shane x ryan, shyan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-08 02:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 22,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14684949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghstgrl/pseuds/ghstgrl
Summary: Ryan, the believer. Shane, the skeptic. It was all so monotonous and boring and cliche that Shane accidentally (on purpose) slips up. Just to make it a little more interesting for them both.





	1. 01

“You’re insane. You’re fucking insane, dude, I swear.” 

Shane just laughed at Ryan’s outright astonishment and disgusted awe as he piled more nacho cheese on the sandwich. Ryan didn’t know which was worse: the fact that they were doing this for a video and it was going to be seen by everyone, or the fact that Shane was actually going to eat this monster. Or that they were doing this at all. 

The video was called “Disgusting Sandwich Challenge,” and the objective was to make the most disgusting sandwich you could. The person with the most disgusting sandwich won, and Ryan was pretty sure Shane was going to win. So far, he’d used WonderBread as the bun, vanilla frosting as the mayonnaise, slimy pickles, tons of nacho cheese sauce, off-brand ketchup, SPAM, Cheetos, a sprinkling of Cheerios, and even some fucking flower petals. Go figure. 

Ryan’s sandwich was somewhat more reasonable: whole wheat bread, some old mustard he’d found in the back of the communal fridge, some cauliflower, brussels sprouts, a few sticks of gum, and fairly runny cookie dough as a condiment. But Shane had gone all out. The few other Buzzfeed employees’ sandwiches paled in comparison to his.

Quinta called time and poor Ned had to go around and taste all of the sandwiches. When he got to Shane’s, he shook his head, looking rather green. 

“I’m not - I’m not eating that. Shane wins,” Ned said, and Shane grinned a shit-eating grin - or, consequently, a sandwich-eating grin. Same difference. 

“Congratulations, man,” Ryan said as they walked out of the studio. He clapped Shane on the back, and Shane grinned again, the sort that made his eyes crinkle up and the sort that made Ryan’s heart take an involuntary leap. Ryan smiled back, dropping his hand from Shane’s shoulder blade.

“So what do you want for lunch, then?” Shane asked, and Ryan made a face.

“Not sandwiches,” he replied, which elicited another crinkly smile from Shane.


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan booboo gets scared

Ryan tried not to be scared, but honestly, it was way too hard sometimes.

As he and Shane climbed the stairs of the Villisca Axe Murder House, Ryan felt his anxiety ratchet up a few notches. He felt uncomfortable, like someone was watching him. He scratched at the back of his neck, almost unconsciously, and glanced around nervously. 

“Jesus fuck, dude, I hate this,” Ryan muttered, and heard Shane’s chuckle from behind him. “I can, like - oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, dude.” Ryan said, stopping short as they reached the top of the staircase. He’d suddenly gotten very cold and dizzy, and he went over and sat down on an armchair that was sitting against the wall. 

“What happened, Ryan?” Shane asked, laughing in confusion as he walked over to where Ryan was sitting, his eyes wide and his hand rubbing his forehead. 

“Dude, I - fuck, man, I got really dizzy and cold. I’m still cold. What...the fuck, dude.” Ryan said, looking up at Shane, who was still laughing.

“Did a - did a little ghostie say hello?” Shane asked, panning the camera around the room, and Ryan let out a breathy laugh. 

“God, fuck, I don’t know, man. So many, like, sudden and terrible deaths happened that I - there’s probably ghosts here, is all. I’ve read that, like, violent or sudden deaths result more, um, more - well, they usually result in ghosts, is all.” Ryan said, looking around the room. He didn’t see anything, and he couldn’t press down a little upsurge of disappointment. Then he reminded himself that if he did see something, he’d shit himself. 

“What’s a ghost - which, by the way, they don’t exist. But if they did - and I’m not saying they do - but if they did, they couldn’t hurt you, Ryan.” Shane said, a note of seriousness coming into his voice. Ryan frowned at this, looking up at him. 

“How the fuck do you know that, Shane? You’ve never even felt anything. I felt, like, and, God, I sound so stupid, and you’re not gonna believe me, so why tell you - but I almost felt as if, like, some ghost kid had put their hand on the back of my neck or some shit. Shut the fuck up, Shane,” Ryan added as Shane started laughing again. He tried to ignore the way that Shane’s eyes crinkled up joyfully when he smiled. Get it together, you fuck, he thought at himself. 

“I still can’t believe that all these people were murdered here. Anyways, this was, um, this was one of the kids’ bedrooms. Let’s turn on the spirit box,” Ryan said, pulling out the aforementioned black box. “It’s gonna be loud.” 

A second later, raucous static filled the room as the spirit box scanned the radio stations. Shane flinched as it turned on, but Ryan didn’t think anything of it - he flinched himself, sometimes, since the noise was so sudden and jarring. 

“Is there anyone here with us?” Ryan asked, and the spirit box scanned for a moment before Ryan heard what sounded like “Lena.” Ryan’s eyes widened and he looked up at Shane, his mouth turning up slightly in a hesitant smile. 

“That sounded like Lena. She was one of the kids who died,” Ryan said, and turned back to the box. He heard Shane draw closer, and out of his peripheral, he saw him crouch down next to the box, looking at it skeptically (as was his job). 

“Alright, well, I’m Ryan, and this is Shane. Lena, if you’re here with us, could you please say our names back to us?” Ryan asked, and then scrunched his eyes shut, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer. But soon enough, he caught what sounded like “R-an, Sh-n.” Ryan leaned back, breathing heavily, his eyes wide as saucers. 

“Holy shit, Shane,” Ryan breathed, and Shane scoffed. 

“That didn’t sound like anything! See, this is what it sounded like,” Shane said, and proceeded to make exaggerated static noises with his mouth. Ryan rolled his eyes, allowing himself to relax slightly as he laughed in disbelief at Shane. 

“Shut up, Shane,” Ryan grinned, and shook his head. Shane grinned back at him, and then looked back at the spirit box. 

“Spirits!” Shane yelled at it, and Ryan laughed again, looking at Shane dubiously. “Show yourselves! You cowards! Cowardly spirits!” 

“Ho-ly shit, dude,” Ryan said, staring at his friend disbelievingly. “You’re insulting the kids? You’d insult children? What the fuck, dude?” Ryan asked, abruptly leaning forwards in the armchair he was still seated in. 

Suddenly, the flashlight that Shane had set on the dresser made a noise, and Ryan’s head whipped around just in time to see it roll off the dresser and fall onto the floor. Ryan froze, his heart beating wildly. 

“Hey, look at that, Ryan! The flashlight just rolled off!” Shane said happily, pointing at the fallen flashlight. Ryan, still gaping, waved an impatient hand at the taller man.

“Shut the fuck up, you dick, I can see that,” Ryan said absently as he slowly got up and walked over to the flashlight. He picked it up, studying it for a second, and then set it on the dresser again. It didn’t roll off.

“This is a flat dresser, look. The light’s totally cylindrical and it’s not rolling off. But if you push it -”

Ryan pushed the flashlight and it rolled off the dresser again, exactly like it had done a few minutes prior. 

“Look, it falls off. Something pushed this flashlight. Dude, I’m going to shit myself.” Ryan announced, and Shane laughed. 

“Well, don’t do it in the bedroom. Let’s go back downstairs,” Shane said, reaching for the spirit box, which they’d forgotten to turn off. 

Just before Shane’s finger hit the button, though, something came through.

“Leave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter! hope u enjoy lovely readers


	3. 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have writers block im sorry

As Ryan edited the footage, he stopped at a certain point, right before they’d left the upper bedroom. He replayed it, isolating the background noise and bringing out the sound he wanted.

“Leave,” said a disembodied voice, the one he’d heard through the spirit box. He listened to it a few times over, and came to the conclusion that it sounded like a child’s voice. He needed a second opinion, although he doubted whether it would actually be helpful. 

“Hey, Shane,” Ryan called, unwilling to get up from his couch. Shane walked in from the kitchen, holding a beer, and leaned over Ryan’s shoulder to see the screen. He was so close (although not uncomfortably, Ryan told himself) that Ryan could feel Shane’s warm breath on his ear. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart skip a beat or two. 

“Boogara! What’s up?” Shane asked, and Ryan grinned before becoming serious and gesturing at the computer. 

“Listen to this. I hear ‘leave’,” Ryan said, and played the audio about five times for Shane, who Ryan could practically feel rolling his eyes.

“I hear wind, Ryan. It doesn’t sound like anything to me,” he said, and Ryan frowned, disheartened. 

“No, Shane, listen again. It definitely sounds like the word ‘leave,’ and it sounds like a child saying it. I think it’s Lena. She said her name through the spirit box, remember?” Ryan reasoned, and Shane shrugged, standing up straight. He took a sip of his beer and walked back over to his own laptop. 

“I don’t know, man. It could be a voice, it could be wind. It was a creaky old house and it was definitely drafty.” Shane said, typing something. Ryan huffed. 

“Well, I’m not saying that it’s not wind. It’s just...well, nevermind, I guess,” Ryan said, and Shane looked up.

“What?” Shane asked, and Ryan shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I mean, it sounds like pretty compelling ghost evidence to me. Sometimes I think you take your job as skeptic too seriously,” Ryan said, grinning, and Shane rolled his eyes for real now, a hint of a smile on his lips (which Ryan definitely weren’t staring at). 

“Well, my bet is on the wind. But do what you want, I guess,” Shane said, playfully jabbing at Ryan, who rolled his own eyes. 

“Yeah, whatever, Madej.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u liked this chapter although its somewhat pointless eheh. i was gonna put more demony stuff in but i couldnt think of any so bleh sorry


	4. 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan has a scary dream.

Ryan looked around, terrified, as he walked through the endless halls of the Sallie House. How could he be back here?! It didn’t make sense at all. He’d left this place for good, he was sure of it. 

As he walked down the hall, with its peeling paint and exposed floorboards, he saw a door that was nearly hidden behind wallpaper, with just its doorknob poking out. Ryan stopped short and looked at it, then looked around. Was anybody behind this door? Was anyone waiting for him to open it? Was it a trap? 

Ryan didn’t know. However, he did know that he didn’t want to keep walking down these horrible, labyrinthine halls, so that decided it. 

Ryan reached out tentatively and slowly turned the doorknob. The door wasn’t locked, and the wallpaper encasing it ripped as he pulled the door open. He scrunched up his eyes, waiting for the probable blast of death that would inevitably hit him, and -

...Nothing happened. Ryan slowly opened one eye and looked around, and then felt himself relax as he realized that he wouldn’t die. The room was empty, save for one chair in a dark corner that he hadn’t noticed before. And - oh, shit - there was someone sitting in that chair.

The person’s face was in shadow, but Ryan could see that his - at least, Ryan was pretty sure it was a “he” - long legs were crossed, clothed in jeans, with brown hiking boots on. It seemed quite familiar to Ryan, but he couldn’t put his finger on where he’d seen them before (although he was sure he should have known right off the bat). 

Ryan realized with a start that the person was staring at him. He didn’t see it, really - more like felt it. Although he didn’t see any whites of any eyes, or anything that would indicate something, anything staring at him, he could see the glint of something in the darkness. And then he saw a flash of white as the person smiled at him, and leaned forwards out of the darkness.

It was Shane. And his eyes were pitch black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooohHHHhhh pLoT tWiSt what if shane was the sallie house demon the hwole time?? nah jk jk he wasnt. i thought this would be longer but it turned out to be short. sorry about that lol


	5. 05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)

Ryan awoke with a start, panting hard as he haphazardly ran his fingers through his hair. 

“What the fuck,” he muttered to himself, still breathing heavily as he swung his legs out of bed and stood up shakily. He stood there for a few moments, trying to gather himself, before he went and brushed his teeth, got dressed, and ate breakfast. 

As Ryan got into his car to go to work, he wasn’t sure that he actually did want to go to work. His dream had been unnerving, and Ryan was still uneasy as he pulled into the company parking lot. He didn’t really want to go in and face Shane - but, then, that was silly. It had been a dream. A simple dream. That’s all. Of course, it was weird, but Ryan had had weirder dreams. He was a big boy. He could handle it. 

Ryan kept repeating this to himself as he walked into work, and it became something of a mantra when he saw Shane already seated at his computer, like he was every morning. As Ryan sat down at his own desk, he tried to discreetly study Shane - and it was stupid, really, it had just been a dream. Of course Shane wouldn’t have pitch black eyes in real life. He wasn’t a demon, for Christ’s sake. 

And Ryan saw with probably too much relief that Shane’s eyes were their regular honey-brown, mixed with darker hints of toffee. The morning light from the large window overlooking their desks was hitting Shane’s face just right, filtering through his irises and illuminating them with what looked like an inner glow. 

“Howdy-doody, buckaroo!” Shane said, in that annoying voice he knew Ryan hated. Ryan rolled his eyes, grinning, and shoved Shane’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, good morning to you, too,” Ryan said, and Shane grinned back at him, his enrapturing eyes crinkling up in the way Ryan loved. 

“Oh, hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Shane said, his voice thankfully back to normal. Ryan felt his heart skip a jump when Shane said those words, and then he forcefully hit himself mentally. Shut up, dumbass, he thought at himself. Shane was already speaking again, and Ryan had missed the first part of what he’d said.

“ - go with me and Sara tonight?” Shane was saying, and Ryan frowned and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I missed all of what you just said. Can you repeat it?” Ryan asked, grinning sheepishly as Shane rolled his eyes. 

“I said, I’m having a date with Sara tonight, would you and Helen like to come along and make it a double date?” 

Ryan thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. “Yeah, sure, I’ll text Helen right now to ask if that’s okay with her.” He pulled out his phone and rattled off a quick text to Helen. She replied a moment later, and Ryan looked back up at Shane, who had been staring at him, oddly enough. 

“She says it’s cool with her,” Ryan said, and Shane grinned.

“Great. It’s a date, then,” he said, and winked at Ryan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i luv sexual tension im sorry


	6. 06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i love fancy restaurants dont you

Ryan, although still a bit uneasy, was trying to forget his dream and focus on getting ready. Helen was going to be here soon to pick him up, and he had to be ready to go. 

“Goddammit,” Ryan muttered as he failed tying his tie for the millionth time. He wished someone was here to help him. Shane, his brain supplied, but he barely heard it in his frustration and panic to get ready. 

“Fuck it, I don’t need a tie,” Ryan finally said, defeated, as he threw his tie back on his bed and rushed to do his hair. 

As he was combing it, he heard a knock on his door. He quietly cursed before throwing down the comb as well and rushed to greet Helen. 

Helen was standing there when he opened the door, looking beautiful as usual in a well-fitted black dress and pearls around her neck. She smiled softly at him, and Ryan grinned back at her. 

“Hey, Pan,” he said as he locked his front door, and he heard her chuckle.

“Hi, Bergara,” she said back, and he laughed as they walked to her car. 

“Sorry you had to pick me up, but I knew I’d never be ready in time to pick you up. I was still messing with my hair when you knocked,” Ryan laughed, and Helen rolled her eyes good-naturedly. 

“It’s fine, Ryan, don’t worry about it! I know how you are.” She said, a hint of mischief twinkling in her eye. Ryan grinned at this as he got into the car, and they were off. 

~

When they arrived at the restaurant, Ryan immediately felt himself looking around for Shane (and Sara). He didn’t see any men resembling Slenderman, so he assumed Shane and his girlfriend weren’t here yet. Or maybe they were just sitting down, Ryan realized belatedly, as Helen led him over to their reserved table. 

Shane and Sara were indeed already there, sitting down, as Ryan should have guessed: Shane was always either punctual or early. Ryan, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. 

“Oh, hey, there they are! Should have known you’d be a bit late, eh, old buddy old pal old chum?” Shane grinned, winking exaggeratedly at Ryan, who felt himself flush. This surprised him to no end as he sat down, but he grinned back at Shane.

And, wow, Shane. In the golden light of the restaurant, he was radiant. His eyes seemed almost golden, his hair was illuminated so it was the softest brown Ryan had ever seen. His face seemed gentle and warm, and when he laughed, well, shit. Ryan was transfixed. 

But then Ryan became aware that Shane, and - to be exact - everyone else at the table, was staring at him. 

“You okay, man?” Shane asked gently, and Ryan blinked his eyes, shaking his head slightly. What? 

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, just - I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep much last night,” Ryan said hastily, then picked up a menu and buried his nose in it. Everyone shared a look of concern and then went back to their own menus. 

Thankfully, they didn’t have to sit too long in awkwardness because the waitress arrived to take their orders. Ryan went first, and then while she was taking everyone else’s, he took the chance to look around the restaurant.

He’d never been here before, and it was quite beautiful. It was called The Aristocrat, and it had high, gilded ceilings with large, ornate chandeliers hanging down. It had French Revolution-like scalloping around the walls with snippets of famous Renaissance paintings. The ceilings were high and domed, with large beams supporting the roof. The floor was inlaid with gorgeous patterns in the wood, and Ryan suddenly felt quite underdressed. 

“Do you - I mean, have you ever been here before? I haven’t,” Ryan said suddenly, and Sara looked over at him. 

“We’ve been here a couple times before. It’s nice, isn’t it?” She said, and grinned at him. Ryan nodded and smiled back at her. 

“It’s really beautiful.” Ryan said truthfully, and looked up again at the tall, imposing ceilings. 

“I thought you’d like it,” Shane said, somewhat mysteriously, and as Ryan looked up at him, he gave an even more mysterious smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe hope you liked it! next chapter will be a continuation of this one i think


	7. 07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fancy boys have an argument while the gfs just chat

As the night ended, and as they were all walking to their cars (which were incidentally parked next to each other), Shane turned to Ryan and grinned. 

“So, did you have fun, Ry-Ry?” Shane asked, his tone slightly mocking. Ryan rolled his eyes and shoved Shane’s shoulder, grinning.

“Don’t call me that. And yeah, I guess it was pretty fun.” 

“You guess?” Shane asked, and Ryan shrugged.

“I dunno. It was a really pretty place and the food was great, but...I dunno. It was a little too fancy for my taste. I like Chipotle any day of the week.” Ryan said, and Shane laughed at this, a little too loudly. 

“Well, that’s only because it was your first time among civilized folk, you heathen!” Shane said, grinning, and Ryan smiled, trying not to blush again as he looked into Shane’s joyful, crinkly eyes. 

“Hey, I’m not the heathen here! You’re the one who made that fucking wild sandwich. Mine was pretty tame.” Ryan pointed out, and Shane scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“The object of the game was to make the weirdest, craziest sandwich. You don’t have enough adventure in your heart, Ryan.” Shane retaliated, and Ryan rolled his eyes exasperatedly. 

“Yeah, whatever. Anyways, you’re the one who’s always teasing the fuckin - fuckin, like, demons and shit. You’re fucking crazy, man. You got too much adventure in your heart.” Ryan joked, and Shane smiled. 

“There are no demons in the places we go to, Ryan, I’m serious. The scariest thing within a hundred-mile-radius is me.” Shane said, a note of seriousness creeping into his voice. Ryan was surprised at this. Did Shane really think that? After all they’d witnessed, is that really what he thought?

“How do you know? For all you know, there could be hundreds of demons in each household! It’s not like you’re one,” Ryan shot back, becoming a little more serious himself now. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up about this. It didn’t really matter that much. 

Shane shrugged, and Ryan frowned. Was he being serious? Shane was such an idiot sometimes, really. 

“Whatever, Ry. I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s my job to be the skeptic anyway, so no matter what you say, there’s no demons. Understand?” Shane said, his tone lighter, although it sounded slightly forced. Ryan rolled his eyes as they reached the cars, the girls still chatting away in front of them, oblivious to the conversation that was happening behind them. 

“Don’t call me Ry,” Ryan said absently, and Shane grinned, shoved at his shoulder, and everything was back to normal again. 

“Alright,” Shane said as Sara got into the passenger seat, “...Ry.” Ryan huffed indignantly, but as Shane gave him one more wink and closed the driver’s side door, he stopped short, and stepped back as the car pulled away. He stared at it as it drove away, his mind still confused.

Because as Shane had winked, Ryan had been sure his eyes had turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooooooh.......yay
> 
> ok does anyone else think that demon shane with black eyes is hot af or is that just me. bc idk if i just havent discovered that im a weird kinkster yet or if thats actually attractive lemme kno in the comments


	8. 08

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another scary demon hunt

They were at the Gary, Indiana “Demon House,” which was said to be infested with over 200 demons. Demon sightings included a supposedly possessed boy who had walked backwards up a wall (with two people as his witness), a girl levitating over a bed, flies swarming on the porch in the dead of winter, and multiple other supposed possessions. 

Ryan was scared shitless, but Shane, as per usual, was not. 

“Dude, holy shit. Fuck,” Ryan said as they walked up to the house. “God, this is worse than the fuckin’ Sallie House, and I didn’t think anything could be worse than that. Holy shit. God. I have my holy water with me, which is...well, it’s a small comfort, but it’s a comfort nonetheless.” 

Shane just laughed carelessly and walked up the steps to the porch, looked around for a second, and then began stomping loudly on it, the old wood creaking beneath him.

“Dude, holy shit!” Ryan exclaimed in awe/horror as he watched Shane make a spectacle of himself. “You’re gonna fall through, dude!” 

“Nah, it’s fine. Demons!” Shane said, yelling the last part. Ryan anxiously clapped a sweaty palm to his equally sweaty forehead, looking at Shane with wide eyes. 

“Demons, get fucked!” Shane was yelling, and Ryan felt himself laughing in terror. 

“Dude, you’re gonna fucking die! Holy shit!” Ryan said, taking a couple steps away from the house. He knew he was supposed to be getting braver with each episode, but right now, fuck that, fuck that so hard. 

“Oh, great! Kill me, demons! Rip my heart out through my mouth, demons!” Shane yelled, and Ryan turned and looked at TJ in amazement. 

“Fuck me, dude. Holy fuck.” Ryan said loudly, stress prominent in his expression. Shane laughed from where he was on the porch and Ryan flipped him off.

“What, you’re not even gonna let me buy you dinner first?” Shane joked, and it took Ryan a minute to get the joke because of his stress. When he figured it out, he flipped Shane off again and walked towards him, shaking his head.

“Dude. I don’t even fucking know why we came here. God, what was I thinking - I must have been feeling brave or some shit,” Ryan said, and Shane laughed again and threw an arm around his shoulders. 

“Don’t worry, the big bad demons won’t hurt you while I’m around,” Shane said, puffing out his chest to look like a superhero. Ryan wheezed, running a hand through his hair. 

“God, what the fuck, what are you - you’re fuckin, like, Batman or some shit, what -” Ryan broke off, laughing too much to even talk, and Shane was laughing too, and for a second Ryan forgot his fear. 

“Alright,” Ryan said when he’d calmed down enough to talk, “let’s go - let’s go inside and kill some, um. Kill some demons.” Ryan said, and Shane raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.

“Ooh, gettin’ some confidence now? Alright, Mr. Boogara, lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooohhh two chapters in one day??? this is unheard of. also for some reason the chapters always look longer in google docs than they do here....oh well. ANYWAYS since one of you agrees with me that shane with black eyes is hot af i made a couple shitty photoshop edits of him w black eyes. see 'em here:  
> https://imgur.com/RbiR4Kd (demon edit 1)  
> https://imgur.com/sYJ49r5 (demon edit 2)  
> lmk if they dont work or something! i know theyre bad but i think they get the point across that yes: shane is hotter with black eyes. thanks for coming to my ted talk  
> EDIT: ok i know this house was torn down but i didn't know that until i reached the bottom of the article about it so dont come for me pls


	9. 09

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan gets brave uwu

“Dude, the EMF detector is going fucking crazy. Look at it, Shane, and tell me that something isn’t in here with us.”

Shane glanced at the the EMF detector, which was lighting up like the Fourth of July, and nodded.

“Yeah, I mean, there could be something. Or it could be, like, you know. Magnetism,” Shane said, and Ryan gaped in disbelief at him.

“Dude. Are you seriously trying to tell me that this thing is lighting up because of some fucking magnetism?”

Shane shrugged and looked at the camera dubiously.

Ryan scoffed, rolling his eyes as he looked at the EMF device again, which was still lighting up every second.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna get out the spirit box,” Ryan said, feeling uncomfortable as he did so. Somehow, he didn’t want to turn it on, didn’t want the loud noise to fill the house, didn’t want to draw attention to themselves.

But he did it anyway.

The spirit box roared to life as Ryan pushed the “on” button, crackling and spitting with all its might as it searched the different radio frequencies.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable static, Ryan heard something. A few somethings, if the voices were anything to go by.

 _“Ryan,”_ he heard it say, raspy and almost unintelligible, but definitely there. Ryan looked up with terrified eyes at Shane, who looked mildly unsettled.

“That could have been anything,” he reasoned, but Ryan shook his head. No the fuck it could not have been anything, holy shit.

“What the fuck, dude, holy shit.” Ryan stated, his voice squeakier than he would have preferred. Shane leaned forward, and Ryan felt his heart jump, although that could have easily been from the unbridled horror that was coursing its way through his veins.

“Hey, spirit box. Suck a dick,” Shane told the box, and Ryan fisted his hand in his hair while his breathing sped up.

“Fuck! Dude, you’re gonna get us killed!” Ryan exclaimed, and Shane looked up at him, laughing. _Don’t look at his fucking stupid happy face Jesus Christ,_ Ryan thought at himself.

“Ohhh my God. We’re actually gonna die here. This is how it ends. Fuck.” Ryan said, looking around the dreary house. The electricity had long been shut off, so it was dark, and their flashlights were the only source of light in the fading dusk.

The house was horrible inside, Ryan concluded. It was, as aforementioned, very dark, and Ryan spotted at least 10 different spider webs littered around. The paint was peeling, it was musty and dank, and the fern patterns on the wallpaper seemed as though they were shriveled hands, curling their deadly fingers towards him in the darkness.

Ryan leaned his head back and tried to take deep breaths to calm himself down. It didn’t work. As Ryan turned his head to look at Shane, he thought he saw a shadow move out of the corner of his eye.

The feeling of dread that had been creeping slowly up Ryan’s neck since he had entered the house jumped up a few notches. He felt like he was being watched from the shadowy corners, and he unconsciously moved closer to Shane, who - thankfully - didn’t say anything about it.

 _“I - see - you,”_ the same static-y voice came from the spirit box, which Ryan had almost forgotten was still on. Ryan’s heart dropped down to his stomach, or perhaps jumped up into his throat - he wasn’t sure which. What he did know was that he was absolutely fucking terrified, and he didn’t even know why he was still in this fucking house.

“Dude, I am _not_ sleeping in this house. No way in Hell am I sleeping in this fucking house.” Ryan declared, and Shane nodded, grasping Ryan’s hands reassuringly.

“That’s okay, Ryan. We don’t have to sleep in the house,” he said gently, and Ryan nodded, clutching at Shane’s warm, amazingly sweat-free hands. Well, they had been sweat-free, until Ryan touched them. Shane’s hands squeezed his own, and Ryan really did not need this extra trauma to his heart, seriously. He was going to have a heart attack one of these days.

But he did feel marginally better, so. That was something.

“We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. We can leave right now.” Shane continued, and Ryan took a few deep breaths, then shook his head.

“No. We’re staying here. We might not sleep here, but we’re going to stay here for now. And we’re going to kill this fucking demon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOOOO SO I MADE SOME ART FOR THIS CHAPTER! it's posted on my tumblr and i might do this from time to time, maybe i'll even make a comic out of this story who knows. 
> 
> anyways here's the post: https://nnuberart.tumblr.com/post/174166279098/dont-let-it-smell-your-fear-for-a-fic-im
> 
> and here's my tumblr: https://nnuberart.tumblr.com/


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brave ryan is my kink

Ryan walked into the next room with a terrified defiance, still grasping one of Shane’s hands (“I’m not letting go of this, Shane, I don’t care what you fuckin’ say.”). In the other hand he held his camera, and in his bag he had his holy water. Just in case.

Shane held the spirit box, which was still rasping out various broken words and sentences.

“This is so much fucking evidence, dude. It knew my fucking name. It said it could see me. I’ve heard it say your name a couple times, along with unintelligible garbage. This is revolutionary, even if it is terrifying,” Ryan said, and Shane laughed a bit.

“Well, maybe. If you’re, you know, a _believer,”_ Shane added in a spooky voice, and Ryan sighed loudly.

“Shut up, you motherfucker,” Ryan muttered, and he heard Shane snicker. That fuck.

“Um, if there is anyone in this room with us, could you please show yourself? Holy shit,” Ryan said, shaking himself out. If he gripped Shane’s hand a little tighter, well, it was reasonable, he thought.

“What happened?” Shane asked, panning around the room with his chest camera.

“I just got the chills, dude. Oh, fuck, I don’t like this one bit.” Ryan said, and then he nearly jumped into Shane’s arms when an old, empty can of beans suddenly fell onto the floor.

“Shit! Fuck, dude, what the _fuck!”_ Ryan yelled, backpedaling so quickly he almost knocked Shane over, the hand forgotten as Ryan grasped his hair with both hands.

“Woah, easy there, buckaroo!” Shane exclaimed, laughing, but Ryan didn’t miss the quick glare he sent at the fallen can. His eyes flashed, so they seemed like they were a weird color - but, then, Ryan _had_ just blinded him by accident with the flashlight, so it was probably that.

“Ow. Careful with that thing,” Shane said, but Ryan didn’t hear him, because the can had just rolled slightly.

“Oh my - where’s my fuckin’ holy water - here,” Ryan exclaimed triumphantly as he whipped out his spray bottle full of holy water. He aimed it at the can and spritzed it vigorously. Immediately as he did so, the can stopped rolling, and he could breathe a little deeper.

Shane smirked at the can and Ryan heaved a sigh of relief. He turned the camera on himself and spoke into it.

“Okay, so, what we’ve just witnessed is amazing and very convincing evidence of the fact that demons or ghosts or whatever the _fuck_ that was - exist. They exist, and if you don’t think so after seeing this then, um, you’re blind, so - yeah.” Ryan finished his message and turned the camera back around to face Shane, who shook his head at the camera in mild annoyance.

“Don’t tell me you don’t believe demons are real after seeing this,” Ryan said in annoyance, and Shane shrugged.

“I dunno. I mean, I’m not saying it isn’t convincing. I’m just not sure if I believe or not.” Shane said, shrugging again. Ryan rolled his eyes, but scooted closer to his friend nonetheless.

“You’re insufferable sometimes, you know that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow we've finally reached ch. 10 wtf?? there's still lots i wanna do with this story so don't worry it's not over anytime soon!!!! like i said before i might make a comic out of this once i finish it, i havent decided yet lol. thanks so much for all the views and kudos and comments!!! i appreciate it so much and it really helps keep me going, and i LOVE reading what you all have to say. ily guys! also to reiterate i know nobody's mentioned it but i can't stop thinking abt the fact that the house theyre exploring was torn down.....IM SORRY ABOUT THAT LOL next time they go to a location i'll make sure it's one that still exists. but for the sake of the story pretend it still does ok lol


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKAY YALL I FUCKED UP. i accidentally didn't add a chapter after chapter 10, so this is the chapter that i forgot. i'm so sorry about that guys, that's why theres continuity issues. ohhhh my god yall im stupid THANKS FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY HEHEHEHHE

“My name is Ryan Bergara, but, um, you already knew that, probably. And that’s Shane Madej. And it would be great if you could say our names back to us.” 

 

Ryan waited for five agonizing seconds before a voice was heard over the spirit box. 

 

_ “Ryan,” _ it said, and then -  _ “Shane.” _

 

Ryan let out a long breath, looking at Shane and then at the camera. 

 

“Fuck. You ask it something, dude, I can’t,” Ryan said, shoving the spirit box towards Shane as he glanced at the camera. 

 

“Demons!” Shane exclaimed, and shook the box. “We’ve heard you’re violent, and that you possess people. Why don’t you possess me? Make me walk up the wall, like you did with that little boy.” 

 

“Shit, man,” Ryan breathed, and then watched and waited, as did Shane. For a few seconds, nothing happened, and then Shane hissed with pain. 

 

“What happened?! Dude, are you alright?!” Ryan said, panic clear in his voice now. Shane pulled up his sleeve to show his forearm, which bore three long, angry red scratches.

 

“Oh my  _ fucking God! _ Shane, we’re fucking leaving, we’re - let’s fucking go.  _ Fuck _ this house. Fuck this house so hard, man,” Ryan exclaimed, fumbling to shut off the spirit box. He threw it in his bag and grabbed Shane’s wrist, dragging him out of the house. 

 

“But what about killing the demon?” Shane asked, almost sounding  _ disappointed. _ Ryan could hardly believe it. 

 

“Forget that shit, man, that’s how white people die in horror movies. It fucking scratched you, those were not there before.” Ryan said, not stopping until they were at the car. 

 

“Um,” Ryan said, pulling out his camera with little difficulty, “so, we’re ending this investigation prematurely because that house is fucking cursed, holy shit. So, um, I’m not discouraged, because this proves that, in fact, demons and most likely ghosts are real. So from now on, Shane can’t say that they’re not and he can suck my dick. Fuck you, Shane,” Ryan said, looking off-camera to where Shane was standing. 

 

Shane rolled his eyes, and shrugged. 

 

“Yeah, I mean, I’m pretty convinced right now. I’ll admit that it’s sort of weird that I got scratched on my arm, like, that’s pretty - that’s pretty fucked up.” 

 

Ryan nodded, looking immensely pleased with himself. “That’s right, Madej. And don’t you forget it, either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i'm so sorry about that again. hopefully it works now.


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are you SURE its not a date ryan. r u sure

Ryan sighed and rubbed his eyes forcefully, halfway through editing the latest Unsolved video. He put his laptop to the side and leaned his head back, sighing. They had to do a Ruining History shoot tomorrow, and Ryan had to edit at least three more videos by Thursday - and it was Tuesday.

He couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday, however. The shadows, the can, the scratches - it was all too real. All too scary and stressful for Ryan, who was already under stress.

“I need a drink,” he muttered, scrubbing at his eyes once more before getting up and walking to his kitchen. He pulled out his bottle of wine and hesitated, thinking of Shane.

“Hey, man,” Ryan said when Shane picked up.

“What’s up, Ry-guy?” Shane’s voice answered, and Ryan grinned in spite of himself.

“Don’t call me that. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come over and have a drink with me?”

“Like a date? Listen, Ryan, you know I like you and all, but -”

“No! You asshole, I was just feeling stressed out about yesterday, among other things, and I couldn’t help thinking that you must be stressed, too, so that’s why I’m calling. End of story.” Ryan grinned, shaking his head, although he knew Shane couldn’t see him through the phone.

Ryan heard Shane’s laugh as it rang through the phone, loud and comforting.

“I know. I’m messing with you. I’ll be over soon.” The call clicked off, and Ryan stared at his phone for a minute, smiling like a complete idiot, for whatever reason.

Ryan decided he would make his apartment a completely stress-free environment, so he cleared all the clutter that was strewn around, he got out his nice wine glasses, and he even cleaned off his table and his counters. He thought candles would be a little much, so he left those out. However, he had read somewhere that low-light environments alleviate stress, so he turned his lights down.

“You know, I think it works,” he said to himself. He _did_ feel calmer with darker lighting.

Soon enough, there was a knock at his door, and Ryan opened it to see Shane standing there, holding what looked like a strange type of cheese.

And, wow, _Shane._ He had on his dark grey jean shirt, with a black button-up under it. His jeans were - well, they weren’t exactly _tighter,_ but, well - Shane had nice legs, that was all.

Shane hadn’t shaved, so he had some light stubble, and his hair looked soft, although it was a bit messy. In the lighting, his look was what could only be described as cozy.

“What the fuck is that?” Ryan heard himself say as he pointed to the cheese, and internally rolled his eyes at himself. Shane scoffed at him and brandished the cheese.

“It’s cheese, Ryan. It has little bits of different fruit in it. I thought it would go well with the wine. It’s red wine, right?” Shane asked, a hint of worry coming into his voice. Ryan secretly thought it was endearing that he’d taken the time to pick out complimentary cheese for wine.

“Yeah, it’s red wine. But you got lucky this time,” Ryan said, wagging a finger jokingly at him as he stepped aside to let the taller man inside.

“Wow, are you sure this isn’t a date, Ryan? Low lighting, fancy wine glasses - I’m almost expecting a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom.” Shane said, waving an arm at the room. Ryan snorted and shook his head, grinning.

“No - I’ve read that this sort of environment, like, is less stressful. I figure we can take as much of that as we can get. Or, like, as little? Eh, you know what I mean,” Ryan said, waving a hand dismissively as he poured the wine. Shane raised an eyebrow.

“No candles?” He asked, and Ryan wheezed.

“I was gonna put candles out, actually, but I thought it would be too much,” Ryan admitted, and Shane grinned.

“I’ll light them, how’s that?” Shane asked, and Ryan rolled his eyes, rushing to the cupboards before Shane got there.

“You brought complimentary cheese, I think you’ve done quite enough.” Ryan said, grinning at Shane as he reached for the candles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh im so happy that you guys like my story! thanks for all the comments and kudos, i highly appreciate it. i'm excited for where this story will go! 
> 
> OK ALSO a tangent: in ruining history, shane's the lead guy right?? well the two people who are always constant are ryan and sara. the others change every episode. well he probably keeps sara around because she's his gf, but what about ryan?? because hes his best friend? well perhaps, but notice how in almost every thumbnail it's shane and ryan. no sara. just shane and ryan, who's usually laughing. just a thought :)


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyone else think giorgio tsoukalos is a weirdo or is that just me

Ryan had to admit, it did seem like a date.

The low lighting, the wine, the candlelight - the fucking complimentary cheese. Ryan looked at Shane over the top of his wine glass as he took a sip. His friend’s face was illuminated by the dim, flickering light, and they way the fire reflected in his eyes made Ryan... _feel things._ He didn’t know _what_ things, exactly, but they weren’t bad things.

“So...how are your scratches?” Ryan asked, looking for something to fill the slightly awkward silence. It was a fucking _candlelit dinner,_ for Christ’s sake.

Shane shrugged. “They’re fine. They’re healing up pretty quickly, they’re almost gone.”

Ryan frowned at this, and put down his wine glass. “Gone? How can they be almost gone? You only got them yesterday. What do you mean?”

It was almost imperceptible, but Shane froze for a second, his wine glass halfway to his mouth.

“Um. I mean, they’re - well, I dunno, Ryan, I heal quickly. Always have.” He quickly hid his face behind the glass, and took a long sip.

Ryan raised his eyebrow, and before Shane could react, he grabbed the latter’s forearm and pulled it over to where he could see.

“Hey, what -” Shane sputtered as Ryan yanked up his sleeve. When he did so, his eyes widened in surprise, because Shane was actually _right:_ the scratches were barely visible, just faint pink lines, whereas yesterday they had been much redder and deeper and angry-looking.

“What...the fuck, dude. How is that fucking possible?” Ryan asked slowly, looking up at Shane, who looked very uncomfortable.

“Um, I don’t know. Like I said, I’ve always been a fast healer. I don’t know why, but I am. And I put lots of lotion and aloe vera on it, so that must have, um, must have helped. I don’t know what to tell you, Ryan.”

Ryan ran his fingers gently over the soft skin of Shane’s forearm. There were only slightly raised ridges, where yesterday there had been puffy, highly irritated red gauges. Well, not _gauges_ exactly - Shane hadn’t been bleeding or anything, but the scratches had definitely looked painful.

Ryan was surprised when he felt a tremor in Shane’s arm, and then saw goosebumps appear on the skin. Shane quickly snatched his arm back, pulling the sleeve down again hastily. He looked up at the taller man, who still looked uncomfortable.

“That’s crazy, man. I wish I had healing abilities like you. It’s almost superhuman. When I get scratches like that - which, to be certain, I _haven’t_ ever gotten scratches like that - but if I _had,_ they’d take, like, a week or more to heal.” Ryan ran his hand through his hair absently, and was oblivious to Shane’s eyes tracking the movement.

“Yeah, I dunno, man. It’s pretty crazy. Hey, can I get more of this wine?” Shane asked, gesturing to the bottle of wine that was sitting just out of Shane’s reach on the counter next to Ryan.

“Oh! Sure,” Ryan said, passing him the bottle. Ryan was mildly surprised to see that Shane filled his glass to the brim.

“...Thirsty?” Ryan asked as Shane passed him back the bottle. His friend laughed, shrugging.

“I guess I’m more stressed out than I thought,” Shane said drily, before he clinked his glass with Ryan’s and took a sip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, chanting: KISS KISS KISS KISS


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter 13 hehe you know what that means ;)))))))))))

“Your turn, Shane,” Ryan said, grinning, as Shane stepped up to where the priest was standing. They were getting exorcisms from a man named Brother Carlos, who was a very intense man, in Ryan’s opinion. 

The video had been some exec’s idea, and they’d chosen a few people to do it. Those people included Shane, Ryan, and a girl named Becky.

Becky had already gotten her exorcism done; she went first because she said she always had cluster headaches, which were apparently a sign of demon possession. Or something. That’s what Brother Carlos said, anyways. 

Ryan had been the second to get his exorcism done, and it had been very uncomfortable. Brother Carlos had stared intensely into his eyes, which made him nervous. The priest had also had Ryan’s head in a vice grip, which didn’t help. 

But no demon had come out of him, which Ryan didn’t know how to feel about: on the one hand, there could be a demon possessing Ryan that just didn’t want to come out (although this was highly improbable). On the other hand, there was no demon possessing Ryan, which he thought was more plausible. 

And now it was Shane’s turn, and the tall motherfucker was grinning in an annoyingly smug way, directly at Ryan. 

“Fuck you,” Ryan mouthed at Shane, who just grinned. But then Brother Carlos put his hand on Shane’s head, and Shane’s eyes rolled back into his head.

“Holy shit!” Becky exclaimed, and Ryan could only gape. Shane’s eyes were back to their normal position within a few seconds, but both Becky and Ryan had seen them roll back. 

“Dude, he’s a fucking demon,” Ryan said, and Becky laughed. Shane was now staring at Brother Carlos, his eyes as wide as they would go. Ryan thought it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever seen. There was something defiant in Shane’s expression, although that might have been because he looked utterly fucking insane. 

When the exorcism was done, Ryan stared incredulously at Shane. 

“Why were your eyes so wide the whole time?” Ryan asked, and Shane grinned. 

“I wanted him to get a good look, I wanted - I wanted him to really peer into my peepers and see what kind of devils I got.” 

Ryan grinned and laughed, and Shane shrugged nonchalantly, although he looked pleased. 

“Your eyes literally, like - they rolled back into your head,” Becky said, and Shane nodded. 

“Yeah, they did. Like, I wasn’t even really conscious of where - of what my eyes were doing, but they did roll back.” Shane said, and Brother Carlos nodded.

“Yes, I saw the whites of your eyes,” he said importantly, and Ryan grinned at Shane, who shrugged again. 

“I’m, like, fully convinced you’re a demon now, dude,” Ryan said as they walked to the food court to get lunch. Shane laughed.

“I think if you were fully convinced I was a demon, you’d be way more freaked out than you are right now.” Shane said, grabbing a paper plate. Ryan shrugged and grabbed one as well. 

“I dunno. I mean, there’s just so much compelling evidence!” Ryan said, and Shane laughed again. 

“Like what?” Shane asked, and Ryan shrugged.

“I dunno. Like, the fact that you can heal so damn quickly. Also, the fact that your eyes rolled back when Brother Carlos touched your head. And - uh, well, nothing else, I guess. But you’re on thin ice, mister,” Ryan said, pointing a finger jokingly at Shane, who simply smiled. 

The smile was a little too mysterious for anyone who wasn’t Ryan, but the shorter man was now preoccupied with his taco and didn’t notice the way Shane’s eyes flashed when he glanced at his food. 

If only he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it means DEMONS  
> also hehe im going to the queen mary tomorrow with my friend! we're gonna do a ghost hunting show sort of like buzzfeed unsolved but its way better (JK JK NOBODY CAN EVER TOP THE BOYS). anyways im excited for it lol


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thought i'd put some more helen and ryan in there because i think that needs to be emphasized a bit

“Hey, you wanna watch Netflix and chill?”

Shane’s voice broke Ryan out of his reverie, and the latter blinked a few times before looking over to where the voice had come from.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Ryan said, and Shane nodded. However, as he walked away, Ryan remembered something.

“Oh, shit, wait. I can’t, sorry. It’s me and Helen’s 3-year anniversary,” Ryan said, clapping himself on the forehead. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten.

“Oh,” Shane said, sounding disappointed, although he didn’t look it. “That’s fine. Can’t miss that - Helen would have your head if you did.”

“Yeah,” Ryan laughed, and ran his hands through his hair. “Another time, buddy, I promise.”

Shane nodded and walked away without another word, his coffee in his hand. Ryan sighed, and felt annoyed with himself because of the fact that he’d actually rather hang out with Shane than have dinner with Helen. _You’re a terrible person,_ he told himself. _You don’t deserve her._

And he didn’t, really. Or, at least, that’s what he always told himself. Although, to be fair, he didn’t think he deserved any of the girlfriends he’d ever dated. They were all way out of his league, and he always felt like he wasn’t a good enough boyfriend. He was always forgetting important dates, always forgetting to _go_ on dates - and now, he didn’t even want to celebrate an anniversary. He really was a piece of shit.

Ryan sighed, scrubbing at his stubble, wondering if he should shave. He should at least text Helen, since he hadn’t heard from her all day and he hadn’t texted her. Another reason why she was too good for him: he never remembered to text her first.

 _Happy anniversary, babe!_  Was the text that he sent, and within a few minutes she’d responded.

_Thanks love! Dinner tonight at benihanas?_

Ryan smiled. Benihana’s was one of his favorite restaurants, and she knew it. Next time he took her out to dinner, though, they’d go to one of hers. That was a tradition of theirs: alternate the other’s favorite restaurant every time they went out.

 _Definitely,_ he texted back, and then set his phone down. He should get some work done, since he still had some things to edit.

~

Nearly six hours later, Ryan was busy getting ready for dinner. He put on his best suit and slicked back his hair, and he even filled in his eyebrows with the eyebrow pencil he’d gotten when they’d done the “Men Wear Makeup For a Week” video. He wanted to look his best for Helen, to make up for forgetting the important event. She didn’t know he’d forgotten, of course, but he still felt bad.

When Ryan arrived at her house and knocked on her door, he was rendered speechless when she opened it.

She’d done her makeup beautifully, with perfect winged eyeliner and a fantastic smoky eye. Her lips were a dark mauve, and her hair was piled in a lovely bun on her head. Her diamond earrings sparkled in the lights of the street lamps, and her brown eyes looked ravishing.

Her dress was a tight-fitting black minidress that came down to her knees and hugged her figure perfectly. She had on mauve heels that somehow matched her lipstick, and her nails were the same color. The way girls matched their outfits would forever be a mystery to Ryan, but he pushed that to the back of his mind and offered his arm to her gallantly.

“What a gentleman,” she teased, a good-natured glint in her eye as she took his arm and let him lead her to his car.

“Your chariot awaits, milady,” he said in a mock-British accent as he opened the passenger side door for her, bowing. She giggled and stepped delicately into the car, which he’d remembered to clean up for her.

They drove to the restaurant, chatting gaily the whole time. When they got there, they spent some time ordering and then eating, talking all the while. The drive home was relatively chatty, as well.

But when they got home, Ryan was surprised to have Helen immediately kiss him. He thought they were going to have some wine first, and _then_ get to the other activities. But apparently that isn’t what Helen wanted, so Ryan was willing to go with whatever she did. And, besides, they _had_ had lots of wine at the restaurant, too. He felt a little strange, but thought nothing of it.

Ryan was disappointed to find out he didn’t really like kissing her. Sure, they’d made out a lot in the past, and he hadn’t really paid it any mind. But it seemed like now - for whatever reason - he’d just realized that kissing her...didn’t really feel like anything. It was sort of _blank,_ and that didn’t even make sense to himself, not really. He wondered how long he’d felt this way without noticing.

 _I’m probably just tired,_ Ryan thought, and broke off the kiss. Maybe some sleep would do him good. He felt a little dizzy, too, and it was late. Sleep was probably needed.

He felt guilty as Helen looked at him in confusion. She pushed back a strand of her dark hair, her brows knitting together.

“Are you okay, babe? What’s wrong? You look really pale all of a sudden,” she said, worry flooding her voice.

“I’m - I’m dizzy, is all, I’m okay,” Ryan said, and he was startled to hear that he was slurring his words. But he didn’t get to think about it any longer, because he blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHHHHH NOOOOO WHAT HAPPENED TO RYAN???????? you'll just have to wait and see ;)


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aw its cute guys

“Look, he’s waking up! Ryan! How do you feel?”

The voices were blurry and distant, and Ryan groaned as he turned his head on the pillow.

Wait. Pillow? Where was he?

“Where am I?” Ryan meant to ask, although it probably sounded more like “Whr am eh?”

He opened his eyes and saw Helen immediately, because her face was closest to his. She looked incredibly worried, and Ryan didn’t know why.

When he turned his head to the side, he was surprised and happy to see Shane there, looking equally worried. Shane’s hair was a mess and he looked exhausted, like he’d rolled out of bed five minutes ago.

“Wha time issit? Wha happnd?” Ryan slurred, still trying to wake up. A nurse came rushing in and began to check his vitals. A nurse? Was he at the hospital?

“Ryan, you fainted last night and we called an ambulance. The doctor says you had some sort of weird allergic reaction to something that was in the food, or wine, or some weird combination of something. They know it was related to something you ingested, but they don’t know exactly what,” Helen explained, concern evident in her tone. Ryan frowned, and then realized he had a monster headache.

“What? Oh. Wh...fuck, my head.” Ryan said, reaching up an arm to rub it. He was stopped short by Shane, however, who held his wrist down gently. Ryan tried to ignore the lightning bolt that shot up from where Shane touched him.

“Easy, there, buckaroo. Don’t use this arm, there’s an IV in it,” Shane told him, and Ryan frowned. An IV?

He looked down, and sure enough, a fucking needle was stuck in his arm. Ryan immediately felt queasy. He _hated_ needles, probably more than he hated demons. He looked away quickly.

“Do you want some ice?” Helen asked, and Ryan frowned.

“Oh,” he said, thinking for a minute. “Sure.” Helen nodded and rushed out of the room to get ice from a vending machine, leaving Shane and Ryan alone - the nurse had long since left.

“How you feeling, buddy?” Shane asked quietly, and Ryan shrugged.

“M’head hurts like a bitch. M’tired, and I hate how it’s takin’ me s’long to wake up, b’cuz my brain’s fully awake. But I guess my body isn’t.”

Shane laughed a bit at this, nodding. “They have you on some mild narcotics and antihistomines. We don’t really know exactly what it was that you reacted to, but it was probably a combination of wine and some ingredient in the food. The doctors tested your blood, but they didn’t find anything really major. So you won’t die.”

Ryan grinned sleepily at this, then reached up with his non-IV arm and patted Shane’s face.

“Thanks, bud,” Ryan said, still aware that he was somewhat slurring, although it had improved. Shane simply smiled and put his hand over Ryan’s, which was still on Shane’s stubbly cheek. Ryan closed his eyes. For fainting and being rushed to the hospital, it wasn’t so bad.

“Holy shit!” Helen’s voice came from the doorway, and Shane started, quickly pushing Ryan’s hand down off of his face, not ungently.

But she wasn’t exclaiming at Ryan’s blatant loopiness; she was looking at her phone in astonishment.

“Listen to this! ‘Crazy Chef in Los Angeles Benihana’s Restaurant Poisons Guests’! Hold on, I gotta read this,” Helen said, quickly shoving the cup of ice she’d gotten into Shane’s hands, along with a plastic spoon.

As Helen read the article, Shane looked at the spoon and the cup, and grinned in slight confusion at Ryan.

“So...you want me to just - like this?” Shane said, hesitantly scooping some ice up on the spoon. “Here comes the choo-choo train, Ryan!”

“Shut up, Sh -” Ryan didn’t get to say any more, because Shane shoved the spoon and the ice into his mouth before he could continue. “Mmfh! Fuhk you, Shehn!” Ryan tried to speak around the rapidly-melting ice, which didn’t work out so well for him. It did calm his somewhat scratchy throat, though, so that was a plus in his department. He wasn’t too fond of Shane’s smug grin, though.

“It says here that some crazy as balls chef put fucking date rape drugs in some of the plates of food last night! He’s been arrested now, and his lawyers are declining to answer anything, but that must have been what happened! I wonder if we should sue Benihana’s. They’ve issued an apology, but still! You were rushed to the hospital! I thought you were dying!” Helen said, and Ryan didn’t miss the shininess that came into her eyes. He frowned in sympathy, holding out his good arm for a hug, which she gladly accepted.

“Ah, I’m a big boy. You can’t off me that easily,” Ryan grinned, and Helen laughed shakily.

“Imagine the headline: Bad Boy Ryan Bergara Gets Murked By A Nutsack Chef,” Shane said, and Ryan wheezed.

“Yeah, you wanna give the eulogy at my funeral?” Ryan said, grinning, and Shane laughed, and somehow Ryan’s headache diminished.

“Holy shit, my headache is gone. And I don’t feel as sleepy anymore. What the fuck?” Ryan said, laughing a little, and Shane grinned.

“Those antihistomines must have taken effect, eh?” Shane said, and Ryan nodded, grinning.

He didn’t object when Shane casually took Ryan’s hand in his own and rubbed circles with his thumb reassuringly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO I'M GOING TO THE SHIP TODAY!!! i'm super excited and i wrote this chapter last night so i could upload it today, since i wont have time. hope you enjoyed! as always leave comments and kudos!! thank u all v much!


	17. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey whaddaya know i did end up adding another chapter tonight hehe

“God, am I glad to be home,” Ryan laughed slightly as he walked next to Helen across the parking lot of his apartment complex.

Shane had reluctantly gone home when Ryan was discharged (“It’s okay, Shane, don’t worry about it, you’re obviously exhausted.”) and now Helen was tasked with the job of helping Ryan back up into his apartment. She was going to stay with him for another night, just to make sure he was okay.

The doctors had pumped him full of water and electrolytes to flush out any traces of the drug he’d been given. Shane had dutifully stayed by his bedside for the full 2 days that he was in the hospital (as had Helen, of course). Ryan couldn’t help thinking that he missed Shane at this moment, and almost wished he were taking care of Ryan instead of Helen. Which was completely ridiculous and Ryan felt disgusting for even thinking it. Or perhaps it was because he hadn’t showered in a few days.

As she helped him sit on the couch in his apartment, Ryan felt his phone buzz. He checked it quickly, and saw that he had a text from Shane. His heart immediately made a little jump as he read the text.

_How’s my Ry-guy? Are you settled in yet? Do you want me to come by and bring you takeout or something?_

_You’re not sleeping, are you?_

Ryan sighed, worrying about Shane. He knew Shane hadn’t really slept while in the hospital, and he was already under stress from missing work. And now he wasn’t sleeping. Ryan was so concerned about Shane that he almost missed the way Shane had called Ryan his.

 _Nah, not really. But don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine._ The reply came a minute later, as if Shane didn’t know what to say. Ryan sighed again and put down his phone. He didn’t want Shane going to all this trouble over him. He didn’t want Shane _worrying_ about him. It just stressed him the fuck out, as if he was responsible for Shane’s wellbeing as well as his own.

“Shane?” Helen asked knowingly, and Ryan nodded. She sighed as well and sat down on the couch next to him.

“He’s worried about you, you know. He didn’t say he was, but I could tell. He barely slept. Even when he was supposedly working, I could tell he was distracted. He cares a lot about you, Ryan.” Ryan was surprised to hear her say this so blatantly. Did he really mean so much to Shane? They were only coworkers, after all. It wasn’t as if they were soulmates or anything.

“I don’t know why he would be. We’re just coworkers, he didn’t have to - he didn’t have to stay in the hospital with me. I didn’t even know I meant that much to him.” Helen smiled sadly at him.

“I think he cares about you more than you know,” Helen said, and then stood up, walking to the kitchen. “Do you want ice cream?” She called, and Ryan had barely processed what she’d said.

“Um. Yeah,” Ryan stuttered, and as she got the bowls ready, he was left to ponder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helen be knowing


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan is surprised

Buzzfeed had given him the week off, and Ryan was left to his own devices. He was doing quite well, and had been drinking lots of glasses of water a day, per doctor’s orders. Unfortunately, Ryan had since finished editing all his videos, and it was only Wednesday. So he was bored, to say the least.

Which is why he started researching demons. He didn’t know why, exactly; maybe his subconscious had led him to this. So he began to spend hours researching anything demonic. He told himself it would help him with Unsolved, maybe for research.

“‘Using profanity,’” Ryan muttered to himself as he scrolled through the symptoms. “Yeah, who doesn’t do that?”

“Haha, Shane does, like, all of these,” he muttered again, about an hour later. Ryan groaned and scrubbed his aching eyes. “Wouldn’t it be funny if he was actually possessed. Lord knows he asks demons to rip his heart out often enough.”

~

A week later, Ryan was back at work and everything, it seemed, had fallen back into place. Shane and Ryan were going out for lunch together, and as it happened, they were talking about demons - more specifically, why everyone thought Shane was one.

“No, it’s ‘cause you’re, like, fearless. You ask demons to do all this shit to you and, like, explain that, like, what the _fuck,_ dude.” Ryan grinned as he and Shane walked to Shane’s car, and Shane shrugged, an odd little smile on his mouth.

“I dunno. Maybe it’s because...I am one?” Shane was still smiling his odd smile, and Ryan grinned back at him.

“Yeah, dude. I know,” Ryan said, and checked the time on his phone. They still had an hour - more than enough time for leisurely Chipotle.

“No, Ryan, I’m - I’m serious,” Shane said as they got to his car, and he held out a hand to stop Ryan, who looked confusedly at Shane.

“Serious about what? We’re gonna run out of time, dude, lunch break’s only an hour.” Shane sighed and looked at Ryan, the smile gone from his face.

“Ryan, I’ve - listen. You’re gonna freak out and that’s natural and that’s fine. But, I mean, I’ve - I’ve wanted to tell you this shit forever. And I didn’t want to because I know how you are.”

“What are you talking about, Shane?” Ryan said slowly, hesitantly, carefully. He didn’t like where this was going, quite frankly.

And then Shane sighed, and Ryan nearly shit himself right then and there. Because as Ryan watched, Shane’s eyes seemed to _expand,_ and then they were all black, and Ryan felt his legs give out beneath him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not really happy with this but whatever lol


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shane voice OH SHIT!

“You’re a fucking - demon - _no, get away from me!”_

Shane - or the thing possessing him - retreated, a hurt look on his face.

“Ryan, please calm down. I didn’t tell you this because I knew you’d react this way. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t want to hurt me? Yeah, right. You’re hurting me just by _being_ here!” Ryan yelled, rapidly crab-walking away. Shane’s eyes widened, and then narrowed.

“Don’t you think if I’d wanted to hurt you, I would have by now?! Ryan, listen to me! You’re not in any danger! Can we please talk about this somewhere else?! People are staring,” Shane said, looking furtively around, his eyes rapidly returning to normal within a blink of an eye. Ryan’s own eyes widened.

“Good! That’s great! Then they’ll see what you really are: a fucking monster! You’re the exact thing I’m terrified of, the exact thing I’ll only do one episode of per season - all that caution just to find out every single episode has been with a demon! _I said get away from me!”_

People really were looking now, and Shane looked around hastily, snatching his hands back from where they’d been reaching towards Ryan.

“Ryan,” Shane - the _thing_ \- whispered frantically. “I’ll explain everything to you if we can just _get out of here.”_

Ryan fell silent, breathing heavily as he sat on the ground, his body tensed next to Shane’s car. He pushed his hair back with one hand and felt sweat coating it as he did so.

After a few minutes, Ryan took a deep breath.

“Fine. We can go to an empty conference room inside and you can explain everything to me. Don’t fucking touch me, though,” Ryan said with disgust as the demon’s face filled with relief. It nodded, and Ryan edged around the taller - well, it wasn’t a _man,_ come to find out, but a horrible otherworldly being.

With little difficulty, they soon found an empty conference room. Ryan sat on the table, his arms crossed defensively, and the creature stood awkwardly by the door.

“Get talking. I’m only giving you twenty minutes before I - well, I don’t know exactly what I’ll do, but it won’t be pleasant,” Ryan said, and Shane - no, not Shane - had the nerve to actually scoff.

“I doubt I’ll be able to cover everything in 20 minutes,” the thing said, and Ryan glowered at the entity.

“I’m not asking you to recount your entire life story. Get talking,” Ryan repeated, and the demon sighed.

“Fine. First of all - because I know you’re thinking it - I’m not possessing anyone. So don’t worry about that.”

Now it was Ryan’s turn to scoff. “Ha! We all know that isn’t true. Of course you’re possessing someone. How else would you be here right now? What’s his name, then? Is it really Shane?”

The creature sighed exasperatedly. “I _am_ Shane,” it said impatiently. “This is my body. I made it. You know how lesser demons can make themselves look like little girls by creating a body for themselves? They don’t have to possess anyone to do that. That’s what I’m doing. I made this body for myself. It never belonged to anyone but me, and that’s the truth, Ryan.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Is that your real name? And what do you mean, _lesser_ demons?”

Now the creature - Shane? - had the audacity to smirk drily.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention,” he said, crossing his arms, the smug air of the old Shane returning. “I’m a prince.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo now it's gettin good amirite?? i been watching a lot of steven universe lately and btw i love pink diamond. like i would die for her my jester child


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan learns some things

Ryan laughed humorlessly.

“Alright, this is a prank. I get it now! I get it. Either that drug in my food fucked me up more than I thought or this is just some shitty thing for one of your dumb videos. Alright. That’s cool. You really had me there for a second. How did you get your eyes to turn like that?” Ryan asked, seriously beginning to wonder if he was actually losing his marbles.

Shane groaned loudly in frustration and fisted his hands in his hair. Ryan tried not to notice this, because it made his stomach more flippy than it already was.

“You don’t fucking get it, do you?! Why would I be screwing with you? Do you see any cameras in here at all? It’s not for a fucking video, Ryan, I swear.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Aren’t demons - if that’s what you really are - aren’t they, like - isn’t their whole schtick to lie and decieve and trick? How can I know you’re telling me the truth?”

Shane rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s the demon stereotype. _If_ you’re a non-royal demon. Which I’m not.”

Ryan sighed, massaging his temples before looking back up at Shane.

“Alright, so let me get this straight. You’re a royal princely demon from Hell who somehow works at Buzzfeed and is a content creator? Cool! Sounds legit. Your twenty minutes are up, by the way,” Ryan said, slipping off the table, and Shane stepped in front of the doorway, stopping him from exiting.

“It’s only been ten. I’ve been counting. So let me explain everything to you from the top, and maybe you’ll see it isn’t just a load of horseshit.” Shane was smirking smugly - the nerve! - and Ryan decided that he’d just give himself up to his apparent insanity for ten tortuous minutes if it just meant he could leave at the end of it all.

Shane took a deep breath and began.

“My real name - my demon name - is Tenebris, which literally means ‘darkness’. I picked the name Shane for myself because it seemed harmless. It also means ‘gift from God,’ which I thought was ironic,” Shane said, grinning. Ryan rolled his eyes. It sounded like something Shane would do.

“Right. So your demon name is all dark and scary. But you don’t seem all dark and scary,” Ryan said, and Shane narrowed his eyes and put out his hand threateningly like Eleven from Stranger Things or some shit.

“You haven’t seen me when I’m angry,” Shane said seriously, and Ryan snorted. A second later Shane was laughing. “Yeah, anyways, my real name is also a bit ironic because I’m not super...you know...demon-y. And I guess my parents knew that too, so that’s what they named me.”

“Wait, your parents?” Ryan asked, and Shane nodded.

“Yep. The king and queen of Hell. My dad’s Satan and my mom’s Lilith. I mean, in reality, I wasn’t actually born. I was more...formed. But when I formed, my mom gave me that name. I guess she didn’t know I’d grow up to be a disappointment,” Shane said, scratching at the carpet with his toe. Ryan could hardly believe it. He looked like an angsty teenager.

“Woah, woah, hold the fuck up. Demon families have problems like human families do? I mean, what you’re describing sounds like - well, it sounds like you’re an edgy 15 year old kid.” Ryan said, and Shane grinned, shrugging.

“Yeah, well, of course. We have emotions and shit, and sometimes they get out of hand, y’know? My parents wanted me to be like my brothers, who are all army generals and shit like that. See, here’s how it works. The queen is really the head honcho down in Hell. Satan isn’t really that big of a deal, but he’s gotten the rep he has because he doesn’t have to actually do anything. He’s a party guy, for real. That’s why he’s the most famous of all the demons, and everyone’s like, ‘Oh, the _Devil!’_ You know.”

Ryan blinked, trying to wrap his head around this.

“Wait, really? So your dad - Satan - fuck, this is so weird - like, he doesn’t actually do anything?” Ryan asked, and Shane shook his head.

“Nope. Mom does all the work. Only female demons get to be the ruler, and the queen is really the only royal figure that matters. The male demon she marries is automatically made king, and even though he gets more privileges, he doesn’t really do much. That’s why Mom’s daughters are so well-protected; they’re in line for the throne. I bet she doesn’t even remember all of her sons’ names.”

Ryan’s eyes widened and he inhaled deeply. “Wow. I didn’t know that’s how it worked,” he said, and Shane nodded.

“And don’t get me wrong, the princes are all way more powerful than any other demon - besides Mom and Dad, of course, and maybe our sisters, since they’re female. But usually Mom just sticks us in boot camp, and we go on to be generals of armies and shit like that. Which is a huge drag. So I left,” Shane said nonchalantly, and Ryan frowned.

“Woah, wait. You left? You just _left Hell.”_

Shane nodded. “Yeah. Mom and Dad probably haven’t even noticed I’m gone. But I’m so glad I left, since it’s way more fun here on Earth. I don’t have to adhere to all these dumb rules, and it makes me so uncomfortable when people bow down to me and call me ‘Prince Tenebris.’ Like, that’s so unnecessary.”

Ryan nodded slowly, looking at Shane warily. “It’s so weird to hear you talking about your parents like you’re an edgy teen who ran away from home. Which is essentially what you did. I mean, like, you’re 32. Seriously.”

Shane’s eyes widened slightly at this, and he coughed uncomfortably, smiling sheepishly.

“Yeah, about that, Ry-guy...I’m not 32. But you probably guessed that already.” Shane scuffed the ground again, and Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Alright, out with it. How old are you, then?” Ryan asked, and Shane hesitated before answering.

“5,750 years old,” he mumbled, and Ryan’s eyes widened. He held onto the table for support.

“Holy _fucking_ shit! You’re older than some ancient civilizations! What the _fuck,_ Shane?!” Ryan yelled, and Shane glanced hastily around, reaching out his hands to quiet him down.

“Hey, shut up, Ryan! Don’t go screaming that shit!” Shane said, his tone slightly panicked, and Ryan laughed in disbelief.

“It’s not like anyone would believe me if they heard! Wow. What...the fuck. Well, how long have you been on Earth, then?” Ryan asked, rubbing his arms absently.

“32 years,” Shane answered mildly, and Ryan frowned.

“Wait, you only defected 32 years ago? That’s, like, a blink of an eye in your lifespan,” Ryan said, and Shane shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess. But no time like the present, eh?” He said, a hint of the old Shane returning. Ryan rolled his eyes.

“So how long do demons live, then? Like, a million years?” Ryan asked, and Shane shook his head, chuckling a little.

“No demon lives that long, buckaroo. Females live longer than males, and so their lifespan would be about...I dunno, 100,000 years? Males live about half as long, so about 50,000 years. Which kind of sucks, but whatever. The longest male demon that ever lived was about 75,000 years old when he died, so here’s hoping,” Shane joked, and Ryan rolled his eyes.

“I cannot even believe you’re trying to be funny right now,” Ryan deadpanned, and Shane shrugged again.

“Hey, like I said before, Ry-guy, no time like the present!” He made to throw an arm around Ryan’s shoulder, but stopped himself when Ryan flinched. Shane looked dejected, but Ryan held strong.

“So...you’re a demon prince. And you’re also a full-time edgy teenager and content creator at Buzzfeed. Explain that to me?” Ryan said, and now Shane actually laughed.

“It’s a funny story, really. When I got up to Earth, I thought I should get a job. So I’ve had lots of little odd jobs over the years. But then I caught wind of Buzzfeed and it sounded like a hip company where all the coworkers basically just goof off all day. I mean, it isn’t actually like that, but that’s what it sounded like.” Shane said, and Ryan smiled slightly in spite of himself.

“Alright, so how’d you join?” Ryan prompted him, and now Shane’s smile was slightly mischievous.

“I may or may not have convinced the recruiter that she and her entire family would die if she didn’t hire me. Nobody died, don’t worry,” Shane added hastily at Ryan’s shocked expression. “It was just a little parlor trick. She forgot all about my threat after she’d hired me, and told her boss she’d let me in because I sounded like ‘the perfect candidate for the job’. It was easy, really. Didn’t even have to interview,” Shane said, and Ryan looked at him in begrudging awe.

“You can do that?” Ryan said finally, and Shane grinned, nodding.

“Yeah. Power of manipulation. I can make anyone do what I want.” Shane said, a little too pompously for Ryan’s comfort.

“Have you...have you ever used it on me?” Ryan asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. Shane hesitated, which wasn’t a good sign.

“Yes,” he said finally, but put his hands up at Ryan’s outraged expression. “Not for anything serious, though! Just to, like, get me food and stuff. But that was only twice. So don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry?! I learned that you’ve used your demon powers on me and you tell me not to worry?” Ryan was furious, but Shane just shrugged casually.

“I won’t do it again, I promise,” Shane said, and Ryan rolled his eyes at the demon.

“You better not. And your 20 minutes are definitely up, Antichrist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this is the longest chapter ive done yet lmfao. also its annoying how when i write italics in google docs it doesnt transfer over to here :/


	21. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk a filler

“So what other powers do you have?” Ryan asked as he shoveled some more Chipotle into his mouth.

He had mostly come to terms with Shane being a demon, although it would always weird him out. He felt a bit betrayed and lied to, because obviously he had been. But he was starting to get over it, although he was still a little pissy at Shane. 

Right now, they were eating dinner together at Ryan’s apartment, and Ryan was asking Shane infinite questions about himself. 

Shane thought for a moment. “Well, I have healing powers. Mom can do it better, but you know how you said you had a headache in the hospital and then it went away?”

“No way, that was you?!” Ryan exclaimed, some food unintentionally falling from his mouth. Shane nodded, taking another bite of his burrito. 

“Yeah,” he said, his mouth full. “I only did a little bit so it wouldn’t be too obvious, though.” 

Ryan nodded, pondering a little bit as he ate. Finally, after a long bout of silence, he glanced shyly over at Shane. 

“Could you - I mean, would you mind if - can you do the thing with your eyes again?” Ryan asked, immediately regretting it - but Shane smirked. 

His eyes swirled, inky blackness filling them until they were bottomless pits of darkness. Ryan resisted the urge to jump up and run away. It was unsettling, but also kind of cool. 

“Wow. Do you, like - can you see the same, or…?” Ryan trailed off, and Shane nodded. 

“Yep. I mean, it’s a little tinted, is all. But other than that, there isn’t much difference. It’s easier to have my eyes like this, though. When my eyes look humanoid, I have to consciously keep them like that. It sucks.” 

“Oh. That’s...wild,” Ryan said, and Shane nodded, grinning. Ryan didn’t know how the black eyes made him feel, exactly. He couldn’t put a finger on the emotion. But it made his stomach flip over, although that could have just been his spicy Chipotle. Shane saw him staring and smirked. 

“I know. It just compliments my already handsome as Hell features,” Shane said, and Ryan rolled his eyes and threw a stray bean at him. 

“Yeah, you’d know, wouldn’t you?” Ryan muttered, and Shane only grinned wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i have writers block........and im busy watching steven universe HEHE . anyways i cant believe we're already at chapter 20, the time sure flies!!! i hope i have more ideas for chapters soon. i know where i want to take this story but i don't really know how to get there hahahha i'll figure it out don't worry. anyways i hope you enjoyed this mediocre chapter:) i'll start pumping up the gay soon lol


	22. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan doesnt know some things

Ryan had refused a date with Helen. Refused! He couldn’t believe himself. 

 

He didn’t know why, exactly. Maybe it was because the last time they’d gone out, he’d gotten poisoned. Or maybe it was because he was tired. Ryan didn’t know. All he knew was that he didn’t feel like himself, and he didn’t like it. 

 

He hadn’t felt like himself for the past few months, he’d realized. And he didn’t know why. He always felt weird around Helen now. She hadn’t done anything different, and neither had he. So he didn’t know exactly what it was, but there was something... _ not right _ about the way they interacted now. It was almost...unfamiliar.

 

Ryan sighed and opened his laptop to resume editing the latest Ruining History. 

 

_ Shane. _

 

Ryan didn’t even know how to feel about Shane anymore. Sure, it was crazy that Shane had been masquerading as a human this whole time, and Ryan still wasn’t completely sure what to make of it. But he’d pretty much accepted it by now. Even if he was crazy, it didn’t matter because Shane was still his friend and they were...well, somewhat normal again. 

 

He’d since found out that Shane could see all the ghosts and demons in the places they went to (“Haha! So you  _ admit _ it, you fucking pompous mother _ fucker! _ Ghosts are real!” Ryan had cackled mercilessly at Shane until Shane had made the lights flicker, which silenced him). Shane had also said that half of the places they went to were completely empty, and had even said that the most  _ un _ haunted place they’d been to yet was the Winchester house (which Ryan had mostly guessed). 

 

But, so as not to spoil Ryan’s fun, Shane had promised not to tell whether or not a place was haunted until after the fact, just so that they’d have Ryan’s legitimate onscreen reaction. Ryan thought that was oddly gallant of Shane. 

 

Shane had also told Ryan that he protected him from any potentially threatening entities. 

 

“Has there been anything threatening yet?” Ryan had asked him, and Shane had thought a moment and then nodded. 

 

“Yep. That demon house we went to recently, the one I got the scratches from. It was way less powerful than me, but it was angry. I could have smited it in a second, but I didn’t want to spoil your fun,” Shane had replied. Ryan had gaped at him for a second before speaking.

 

“Did you seriously just say ‘smited’?” 

 

Ryan smiled at the memory as he stared at Shane’s frozen face on the screen. He missed Shane. He hadn’t seen him in a couple days, and he didn’t know if Shane was avoiding him or if they’d just been out of contact. 

 

With how weird the past week had been, Ryan was surprised that he actually missed Shane. He felt a weird aching in his chest that he couldn’t explain, and he was glad they were filming a Postmortem tomorrow. He’d be glad to see his friend again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall.....hes trying to figure himself out......
> 
> OK ALSO i watched the buzzfeed video where like guys try eyeliner or whatever and i thought ryan looked fineeeeee so i gave him some eyeliner (i drew it on haha). i also gave him fleekier brows. its weird because i suck at makeup when i apply it to myself but i can draw it on other people really well so idk whats goin on here folks
> 
> anyways here are the edits:  
> https://imgur.com/41xFwr1 (edit 1)  
> https://imgur.com/Dx8in3s (edit 2)
> 
> they're not great but there they are lol


	23. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> postmortem

“So you don’t think that was an actual, um, an actual piece of evidence, then.” 

 

“No! I mean, it’s very convincing and I don’t deny that, it’s just...it could have been anything. Could have been the wind. The window was open next to us, so it could have been highly plausible.” 

 

The Unsolved Postmortem was in full swing, and Ryan and Shane were bantering like nothing had changed. Well, almost nothing. Ryan still felt weird around Shane, but he wasn’t sure if it was the fact that Shane was a demon or the fact that Ryan got that weird achy feeling whenever he was around his friend. He decided to disregard it. 

 

“Alright, well. That’s all fine and good, but you’re an asshole if you don’t recognize that it was an actual fucking demon, so. Yeah. You’re an asshole,” Ryan said, grinning, and Shane shrugged nonchalantly and leaned back, his hands behind his head, his eyes closed. 

 

“Yeah, but I’m  _ your _ asshole, baby,” Shane said, smiling smugly. Ryan sighed and looked into the camera, Office-style, and shook his head. He tried to ignore his stomach, which was playing double-dutch inside his body. 

 

“No, he’s not. And don’t call me baby, I’m not your baby,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes and looking back at the comments. 

 

“Alright, this one’s from suck_my_yanny, haha,  _ stop, _ Shane,” Ryan wheezed as Shane snickered. Ryan laughed and looked back at the comment. “Alright, this person says, um, ‘Will the Hot Daga ever end?’ The answer is, um, suck_my_yanny, no it will not. The Hot Daga won’t ever end, it’s my eternal damnation.” Ryan grinned at the camera and looked over at Shane, who was smiling mysteriously like he was the motherfucking Mona Lisa or some shit. 

 

“Alright, Shane, read the next comment,” Ryan prompted him, and Shane glanced down.

 

“This one’s from Facebook, from Martha Grueber. ‘Shane, you shouldn’t shout your name and address out to demons, and you also shouldn’t ask them to possess you. You’re gonna die one of these days. #Boogara.’” Shane shot a long-suffering glance over at Ryan, who had collapsed into laughter. 

 

_ “Hahahaha, _ alright, I mean, she isn’t wrong,” Ryan said, still wheezing. “You probably shouldn’t be shouting, like, ‘Hey, you demon fucks, suck my dick! Get fucked!’ You know, that’s probably not, um, well, it’s probably not working in your favor.” Ryan grinned at Shane, knowing full well that demons wouldn’t dare to bother Shane. 

 

“Who cares? Demons aren’t real,” Shane said, completely deadpan. “I don’t believe in them, so they can’t hurt me. Simple as that.” 

 

Ryan raised an eyebrow at Shane, still smiling, and then shrugged. 

 

“Alright, whatever. Shane’s crazy, but I think we already knew that. Okay, so, that’s it for the comments, and since it’s now time for the worst story possible to emerge, I’ll just put my head under my hands, shall I?” Ryan asked, laughing, and buried his head in his arms. He heard Shane laughing and then he felt their arms brush, and his entire body got goosebumps. He hoped the camera didn’t catch that. 

 

Ryan spent the next 5 minutes zoning out while Shane read the Hot Daga, but he admitted to himself that he kind of liked it when Shane read the ridiculous story. His voice was...comforting, somehow. 

 

But Ryan would never admit it out loud. Especially not to Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a filler chapter since i've been having lowkey writers block and i'm trying to get myself going again. seriously tho when is the postmortem coming out for real......im not getting any younger over here @ shane and ryan. anyways like i said before i'm trying to up the ante with the Gay a little idk if you can tell. it will get Gayer though


	24. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this christmas idea literally hit me randomly last night as i was trying to go to sleep

Ryan forced a smile at Helen as he helped her put up the Christmas decorations. He wasn’t feeling very festive - at least not as festive as he usually did when he put up decorations with her. Ryan was aware she was still watching him, so he kept the smile on his face, and only let it slip a little bit. 

 

Her gaze lingered on him before she moved to the other side of the tree to put up decorations. She was silent for a while, and Ryan almost thought he was out of the clear, when she spoke up. 

 

“Are you okay, Ryan? You seem a little...I don’t know...different.” 

 

Ryan froze, his hand in midair, holding a dangling golden ornament. He sighed and lowered his hand. 

 

“I feel different. I...I don’t know, I...I haven’t gotten much sleep lately, and the last few weeks have been crazy, and I just...I don’t know. I feel weird, I guess,” Ryan said, his mind roving over the events of the last few weeks. 

 

Going to a crazy demon house with Shane, who turned out to be a demon  _ himself. _ Going on a date with Helen and getting food poisoning. Insane deadlines. It had been...an intense time. Ryan wasn’t sure what to make of it, and on top of all  _ that, _ he felt...strange. Emotionally. He didn’t quite know what it was, but something was off. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Helen asked gently, and Ryan sighed, shaking his head and shrugging at the same time. 

 

“No. There’s nothing to even talk about. I’ve just been stressed at work, and then the whole food poisoning thing, and then the demon house thing - it’s all too much. I’m glad it’s almost Christmas, and I’ll get to spend that time with you,” Ryan said, a genuine smile forming on his face as he reached over and tucked a strand of Helen’s hair behind her ear. She smiled softly at him and leaned over, kissing him gently. 

 

“It’s tradition, right?” She asked, giggling a bit as she pointed above them. Ryan followed her hand and saw that they were standing under the mistletoe, which was the first decoration they’d put up in the doorway to Ryan’s living room. 

 

Ryan smiled, although his mind was drifting again. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i can't believe we're past 100 kudos......i love u guys sm. also i'm sorry my chapters are so short, they seriously look so much longer in google docs. that's why i update a million times a day lmaooooo i'm trying to give yall enough reading material!! 
> 
> also helen knows somethings wrong....women always know that kind of thing lemme tell u


	25. 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan is a jealous boy

“You excited for the Christmas special, Ryan?” 

 

Shane’s voice immediately pulled Ryan out of his daze, and he looked over to where Shane was grinning at him. Ryan grinned back, rolling his eyes. 

 

“Yeah. I gotta say, I do like this whole theme we’re sticking to of animating Christmas specials. It’s a nice break from the norm,” Ryan admitted, and Shane nodded in agreement. 

 

“Yeah. I feel bad for the animation team, though. It must take a lot of work to do all that,” Shane said, and Ryan nodded. 

 

“That’s why they’re so short, hmm?” Ryan said, jokingly elbowing Shane in the side. Shane stuck out his tongue at Ryan, who pushed up his nose to look like a pig’s and crossed his eyes. 

 

“Alright, kids, calm down. Mommy’s here.” Sara’s voice suddenly appeared behind them, and Ryan started. 

 

“Don’t  _ do _ that! Jesus Christ,” Ryan said, clutching his heart, and Shane laughed. He spun his chair around to quickly kiss Sara and Ryan felt something like anger rise up in his chest. He frowned at himself, wondering where  _ that _ came from. 

 

“Anyways, it’s meeting day. We gotta go and listen to the Buzzfeed execs talk about dumb shit for an hour. Let’s go!” Sara exclaimed sarcastically, and started off towards the meeting rooms. Ryan sighed and stood up, following Shane. 

 

~

 

When they got back from the meeting, Shane turned to Sara and Ryan. 

 

“You guys wanna have lunch together? You know, in the spirit of Christmas togetherness?” Shane asked, and Ryan snorted. 

 

“Yeah, you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Ryan muttered, and Shane shot him a wink. Sara looked confused, but Shane told her not to worry about it and that it was an inside joke between the two of them. She simply shrugged and walked out to Shane’s car. 

 

~ 

 

Ryan was miserable during lunch. Shane and Sara were talking and chatting and carrying on, and Ryan could barely get a word in edgewise, so he just stayed silent. He knew they weren’t trying to hurt his feelings, but they did nonetheless. 

 

“What do you see, Ryan?” 

 

For the second time that day, Shane’s voice pulled Ryan out of his reverie and Ryan stared confusedly at the taller man. 

 

“What are you talking about? I’m sorry, I was zoning out,” Ryan said, somewhat apologetically, and Shane rolled his eyes. 

 

“We’re asking if you see the dress as white and gold or blue and black,” Sara cut in before Shane could say anything. Shane shot a disapproving look at Sara, but said nothing and just nodded. 

 

Ryan grinned, shaking his head. 

 

“That meme is so fuckin’ old, you guys. Anyways, it’s white and gold, and anyone who says otherwise is a motherfucker,” Ryan joked, and Shane looked immensely pleased with himself. 

 

“See, Sara? It’s two against one. It’s definitely white and gold.” Shane looked smug, and Sara scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

 

“No, it’s not! It just depends on the brightness in which you see it. Look,” Sara said, turning the brightness down on her phone and showing the screen. Ryan squinted, but he still saw white and gold, and he said as much. 

 

“What?! No, man, you’re whack,” Sara said, grinning teasingly, and Ryan rolled his eyes as he smiled and took another bite of his burrito. “Whoever says it’s white and gold is crazy.” 

 

“You think I’m crazy?” Shane asked in mock hurt, putting a hand on his chest. Sara grinned at him. 

 

“Yeah, but I still love you,” she said, leaning forwards as she pecked Shane on the lips. 

 

Ryan looked down and stabbed his salad with more force than was probably necessary. He didn’t even know why this was bothering him so much. 

  
_ Whatever, _ he thought, still spearing his salad with the strength of ten men.  _ I’ll think about it later. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im excited for this and i have a plan on how shane and ryan r gonna kiss ;)


	26. 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan realizes some things

And think about it he did. 

 

Ryan spent the next week thinking about why he felt so weird all the time. Especially around Shane. And especially around Helen and Sara. 

 

And he came to a conclusion he wasn’t too sure about. 

 

He, Ryan Steven Bergara, wasn’t straight. 

 

He didn’t know if he’d say he was  _ gay, _ exactly. He still felt attraction to women, somewhat. But he’d always thought of himself as the ultimate Straight Guy™. You know, the whole “No homo, bro!” sort of deal. 

 

But apparently he’d been wrong, all his 27 years living on Earth. 

 

Now that he thought about it, though, he started to remember scenarios that couldn’t necessarily be described as  _ straight. _ Like the time he’d had a large crush on Billie Joe Armstrong when he was 12. Ryan actually didn’t know how he’d forgotten about that. (He still sort of had a crush on Billie.) 

 

But it seemed impossible that now he had a crush on Shane.  _ Shane, _ of all people. Sure, Shane was the friend he was closest to, and the friend that he shared everything with, and the friend that...well, let’s put it this way: the friend that he’d kiss if he was held at gunpoint and told to. 

 

So maybe Ryan had a crush on Shane. Maybe. And it was all so sudden that Ryan couldn’t believe it. It seemed so surreal. He didn’t even know how long he’d liked Shane for, but he thought that it was a while. 

 

Ryan sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He didn’t know what the fuck to do. Should he tell Shane? Absolutely not. Should he somehow drop hints that he liked Shane? Probably not. And what was he going to do about Helen? Should he break up with her?

 

He liked her, sure. As...more of a friend, though, he realized. 

 

But he couldn’t dump her right before Christmas. That would be horrible. Christmas was in two days. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. He’d have to soldier through. But wasn’t Christmas supposed to be about love and acceptance? So if she didn’t accept him, she wouldn’t really be adhering to the Christmas spirit. But that was a total dick way of thinking. He couldn’t just dump her. 

 

“Ugh,” Ryan muttered, putting his head between his knees. “What am I gonna do?” 

 

Thirty seconds later, Ryan was on the phone. 

 

“Yeah, Shane? Hi. I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL!! DID YOU SEE THE POSTMORTEM DJIFDSLGJ. first of all i love the Matching Boys....also RYAN IS THICK but we already knew that. and i feel like ryan seemed drunk or maybe they both were. and shane dissociating at the beginning of the video is a fucking Mood...and am i dreaming or was this episode perhaps a little gayer than the rest GKDJGDLFSLFKSD IGNORE ME


	27. 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i know its slow dont worry it will pick up damn soon

Ryan sighed, smiling, and clinked his glass with Shane’s. 

 

“So, as a demon, do you get drunk? You do, right? ‘Cause of that Test Friends video we did?” Ryan asked, taking a sip of his wine. Shane smiled and shook his head.

 

“Nah. That was acting. Demons can’t get drunk. We have a naturally fast metabolism, so we can’t get drunk. Think ‘Captain America’.” Ryan’s jaw dropped at this.

 

“Wait, what?! That was seriously acting?! Wow, dude, you know, you should get an Oscar. That’s incredible. So we didn’t need a limo after all, you could have just driven us.” Ryan said, and Shane laughed. Ryan flushed at this, his stomach flip-flopping. 

 

“Well, thanks, Ry. I appreciate that,” Shane joked, taking another sip of his wine. Ryan sighed slightly and looked down at his glass, absently swirling the wine inside of it. 

 

“Are you okay, Ryan?” Shane’s gentle voice came from across the table, and Ryan looked up, feeling himself blush again. 

 

“Um. Yeah, I’m...I’m fine. I’m just stressed out, I guess. I’ve already sent Christmas cards off to all of my family, and I got them presents, but...I don’t know what to get Helen.” 

 

Ryan had decided to not break up with her until the holiday seasons were over. That way, he could have more time to think about how to do it, and he didn’t have to think about it right now, anyway. 

 

Ryan could have sworn he saw something like anger flit across Shane’s face before it was gone and Shane shrugged. 

 

“I’ve never really understood the Christmas traditions myself. Being a creature of Hell, and all,” Shane said, grinning, and his eyes flashed black for a second before returning to normal, a single blink later. Ryan felt the flip in his stomach grow stronger, and his face heated up again. 

 

Ryan grinned, too, and scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, that makes sense. She likes pretty things, so I was thinking of getting her, like, a bracelet or something. I dunno. I…” Ryan trailed off, sighing as he looked back down at his wine. He saw Shane frown out of the corner of his eye, and his heart nearly stopped as Shane’s hand rested on his forearm. 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little...sad.” Ryan looked up at Shane, who had genuine concern in his eyes. Ryan wanted to tell him, but he was afraid of what Shane’s reaction would be.

 

“Yeah, I’m...I’m fine, Shane, don’t worry,” Ryan said, and Shane nodded, evidently sensing that Ryan didn’t want to talk about whatever it was. 

 

“Alright. Well, do you wanna...I dunno...play a game, or watch a movie, or something?” Shane asked, and Ryan thought for a moment, then grinned. 

 

“Yeah, sure. Let’s watch Christmas movies until we pass out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO I HAVE A FEW THINGS IN MIND FOR THIS STORY. christmas is going to happen and then some EXCITING DEMON THINGS because i feel like shane's being a demon isn't emphasized enough. so i'll definitely emphasize it soon. hehe ;)


	28. 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UGH i love my soft boys!!!!!

Pass out they did, because Ryan awoke to something  _ very, very heavy _ on top of him. So heavy, in fact, that he couldn’t really breathe that well. He wheezed and turned his head as much as he could. What he saw was odd, and for about three seconds his barely-awake brain couldn’t recognize what it was. Then he realized that it was the crook of a neck.

 

Ryan was on his back, with his arm uncomfortably by his side (it was beginning to fall asleep), and with his leg at an odd position. His legs seemed to be tangled with  _ other _ legs, much longer legs. 

 

Shane was on top of him, fast asleep, and Ryan was slowly being crushed to death. 

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, you heavy demon, get the fuck off of me,” Ryan muttered, trying to shove Shane into a position that wouldn’t inherently hurt. Shane simply muttered something in his sleep and rolled over, so now his back was on Ryan’s stomach. It wasn’t any more comfortable. 

 

Ryan sighed, wondering when Shane was going to wake up (because even though Ryan could probably move Shane if he tried, he wasn’t really trying). 

 

_ His hair smells good, _ Ryan thought, and then frowned at himself.  _ But he’s also crushing you to death, you idiot. _

 

This was the closest Ryan’s face had ever been to Shane’s, and it was actually the worst position Ryan had ever been it. But luckily, Shane groaned and his hand sleepily scrubbed at his face. 

 

“Wh...at is goin’ on?” Shane mumbled sleepily, before his brain caught up. “Oh, shit, what -” Shane immediately awakened and promptly rolled onto the floor with a dull thud. 

 

“Ow,” came Shane’s muffled indignant protest, and Ryan snickered, while taking the biggest breath of his life. 

 

“Jesus Christ, dude, I think you broke a rib,” Ryan teased him, and Shane looked up from the ground, a sleepily-pissed off expression on his face. Ryan felt his face heat up immediately, because Shane’s messy bedhead was also a sight to behold. It actually complimented his face quite nicely, Ryan thought. 

 

“Did we seriously fall asleep watching Christmas movies?” Shane asked groggily, pushing himself up into a sitting position as he rubbed at his face again. 

 

“Yeah, we did,” Ryan said, and Shane groaned. 

 

“How did I get caught up in this human bullshit?” He asked rhetorically, and Ryan grinned. 

 

“Aw, does the big bad demon need coffee?” Ryan asked, getting up, and Shane’s eyes were black when he looked at Ryan. 

 

“Yes, the big bad demon needs coffee,” Shane said, and  _ holy shit. _ His voice was deeper, but inhumanly so; it sounded somewhat distorted. 

 

“Holy shit, dude,” Ryan grinned, and Shane smiled innocently, all traces of demon gone within a blink of an eye. 

 

“What?” Shane asked, getting up and walking over to where Ryan was still making coffee. He leaned over Ryan’s shoulder, and for a quick second Ryan shuddered, sure that Shane was going to kiss him. But he was just smelling the coffee grinds, which were still in the container. 

 

“Mmm. These always smell so good. We don’t have this in Hell, but we should definitely get some. Perks me right up. Could probably do Mom some good,” Shane said, and Ryan laughed shakily, nodding as he poured the grinds into the filter. 

 

“Yeah, you know, coffee is most people’s downfall. You should definitely have it in Hell,” Ryan agreed, pouring the grinds into the coffeemaker. Shane stepped back, and Ryan was slightly disappointed to feel his heat leave his side. 

 

As Ryan started the coffeemaker, Shane leaned on the counter behind him, ran his hands through his messy hair, yawned, and then smiled sleepily at Ryan, who had turned around. 

 

_ I could get used to this, _ Ryan thought, and he was so transfixed by Shane that he even let that thought stay in his head. 

 

“Merry Christmas Eve,” Ryan said, and Shane gave a lopsided grin. 

 

“Thanks,” he said sarcastically. “Because I definitely participate in human holidays, especially ones that celebrate Christ.” 

 

It wasn’t even that funny, but Ryan laughed, and then they were both laughing, and Ryan was so distracted that he almost forgot to finish making the coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO DUDES CHILLIN AT THE COFFEEMAKER THREE FEET APART CAUSE THEYRE (not) GAY


	29. 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan is conflicted

Ryan had a problem.

 

He couldn’t explain it, exactly, but he kept finding himself getting nearer and nearer to Shane. In the Ruining History they filmed, Ryan’s chair was marginally closer to Shane’s. At lunchtime, he sat slightly closer to Shane. During the workday, he and Shane kept laughing and throwing paper balls at each other. It was inexplicable. 

 

Ryan didn’t mind it, exactly, and when Shane jokingly(?) asked him to be his date to the Christmas Eve party tonight, Ryan readily agreed, feeling a small leap in his chest as he did so. 

 

Buzzfeed parties weren’t terrible, but they weren’t great either. The company wanted to boost morale, but they didn’t want to spend too much money, so the beer was often warm, the music usually only had the same 10 pop songs on repeat, and the food was that type of processed grocery store food, like those cookies with the frosting (although Ryan actually liked those quite a bit). 

 

Despite the mediocrity of the party, Ryan was enjoying himself (perhaps only because Shane was doing a ridiculous karaoke of “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley). The atmosphere was welcoming and un-stressful, which Ryan appreciated. He could almost forget the odd aftertaste of the pastry he was currently nibbling at. 

 

Shane looked over, microphone in hand, his hair at wild angles, and pointed at Ryan while singing “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.” Ryan appreciated the gesture, but he would have appreciated it a bit more if Shane hadn’t looked quite so insane. In _ Shane. _ Nevertheless, he grinned and waved. 

 

When the song ended, Shane walked over to Ryan, grinning and panting, his hair still wild and his shirt sweaty. Ryan decided that this was a look he was fond of. 

 

“Hey, this party is lame,” Shane said, and Ryan laughed, wheezing a little. 

 

“It’s lame, but you just finished karaoke? It was super intense, by the way. Is it only lame because now you’re not performing?” Ryan asked, and Shane shrugged, grinning. 

 

“I dunno. Merry Christmas, though. God, it feels weird to say that,” Shane said, and Ryan grinned at him. 

 

“Hey, demon, you wanna get out of here?” Ryan asked, a teasing glint in his eye, and Shane’s were black when he agreed. Ryan walked over, held the door open for Shane, and smiled mischievously. “This way, your highness.” 

 

Shane rolled his now-normal eyes at Ryan, flipped him off, and walked through the door. Cackling, Ryan ran after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so this chapter is all over the place AND GO BACK AND READ CHAPTER 11 BECAUSE IT'S NEW!!!! let me explain:  
> okay so i fucked up and i accidentally didn't add a chapter when i meant to. one of you lovely commenters brought it to my attention yesterday, so i went back and fixed it. so chapter 11 is NEW, so you guys should totally go read it because if you don't there are some minor plot holes regarding shane's scratches etc. i'm so sorry i forgot to add it hahaha it got lost among the other chapters in my google doc. 
> 
> ANYWAYS IN OTHER NEWS IM GOING TO THE QUEEN MARY TODAY Im so excited


	30. 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOO OBOYYYYY

When they got back to Ryan’s apartment, Ryan made a fire and poured them each a glass of wine. They sat next to each other, gazing dazedly at the fire. Ryan glanced over at Shane and saw that his eyes were black as he took another sip of his wine. The sight sent a bolt of electricity through Ryan. 

 

“Remind you of home?” Ryan asked, and Shane chuckled, shrugging. 

 

“Nah, it’s way hotter down under. And there’s more tortured screaming involved, and...well, you get the idea. But it’s a nice little snippet, I suppose,” Shane said, taking another sip of his wine, and Ryan sighed contentedly, closing his eyes slightly. Shane was warm next to him, and even though he was at the correct temperature, it was comforting. He couldn’t help leaning against Shane’s arm a little bit. 

 

“You know, this is all so crazy,” Ryan said, and Shane glanced over at him. “You know, I mean, two weeks ago, if you would have asked me how I felt about demons, I’d have told you that you’re a fucking crazy person if you didn’t think they were terrifying. But now my ideal has sort of changed, and I’m not so scared anymore.” 

 

Shane chuckled. “Well, that’s good, I guess. But not all demons are as nice as I am, Ryan. I’m just special,” he said, a note of seriousness tingeing his voice. “There have been some close calls, believe me. I just...I want you to be as safe as possible, Ryan. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” 

 

Ryan frowned, turning to look at Shane, whose eyes were still bottomless pits. “Because of you? What does that mean?” Ryan shifted, turning to face Shane on the couch. 

 

Shane sighed. “Supernatural creatures are naturally drawn to me because - well, obviously, I’m one of them. And I’m a high-ranking creature of darkness, which basically acts as a beacon to creatures like that,” he explained, and Ryan frowned again. Before he could say anything, though, Shane put his hands up.

  
“But don’t worry, I’m more than capable of protecting you. Everything we encounter is less powerful than I am, so I can overpower it easily. Pretty much the only thing that would beat me is, like, a member of my own family. Except for my brothers, I’m as powerful as they are. But - what I’m saying,” Shane said, because Ryan was still frowning, “even if I am capable of protecting you, I don’t want to make a mistake. And it doesn’t help that you’re as... _ sunshiny _ as you are.” 

 

Ryan frowned deeper.  _ “Sunshiny? _ What the fuck does that mean?” He asked, taking an indignant sip of his wine.

 

Shane rolled his eyes - or, at least, that’s what it looked like. Ryan couldn’t really tell. “You probably don’t know this, but you’re like a beacon yourself, Ry-guy. Not as powerful as me, of course, but still powerful enough that evil beings get drawn to you like moths to a light. It’s like - well, you’ve seen the Sixth Sense, haven’t you?” Shane asked, and Ryan froze, nodding. 

 

“Wait, so I’m like the kid? But I can’t see dead people,” Ryan said, becoming more alarmed. Perhaps Shane could see this, because his tone became softer.

 

“Humans can’t see what I can see. Not even close. Some humans - like those ‘world-renowned psychics’ or whatever - they can  _ sense. _ But they can’t see.” Shane said, and Ryan nodded, looking down at his glass a little. He looked up at Shane again, though, a hesitant, small smile on his face. 

 

“Well...thanks for protecting me, then? I appreciate it.” Ryan said truthfully, and Shane smiled, and the atmosphere relaxed again. Ryan snuggled closer to Shane than he had been before, but if Shane noticed, he didn’t say anything. 

 

“So, Ryan,” Shane started, and Ryan was surprised to hear a hint of embarrassment in his voice. He looked up at Shane, and realized how close their faces were.

 

“Yeah?” Ryan asked, a little breathier than he liked. Shane chuckled self-consciously. 

 

“So, could you explain to me exactly how Christmas works? Like what the tradition is and stuff? Even after all these years, I still don’t fully get it,” Shane said, and Ryan felt a little disappointed. 

  
  


“Yeah, totally,” Ryan said, and he began to tell the legend to the sorely misinformed demon. 

 

~

 

“Well, thanks for spending Christmas Eve with me,” Ryan grinned as he walked Shane to the door. Shane smiled, and his eyes returned to normal. 

 

“You’re welcome, buckaroo! And thanks for explaining ol’ Saint Nick to me. I didn’t get it before,” Shane said, scratching the back of his head self consciously, and Ryan grinned again. 

 

“It’s fine, man, don’t worry about it. Have a great Christmas,” Ryan said, and then stopped short, his cheeks flushing. “Oh...whoops. I guess you don’t really have any family to spend it with, huh?” 

 

Shane shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s fine. Sara has her own stuff to go to, so I’ll probably watch a bunch of Christmas specials and eat lots of food. It’s really fine, Ryan,” Shane said at Ryan’s dismayed expression. “I don’t celebrate Christmas anyways. I’m a demon, for Christ’s sake.” Shane grinned, but Ryan was still a little upset. 

 

“I want you to spend Christmas with me and my family,” Ryan decided, and Shane’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. 

 

“Really? I couldn’t do that,” Shane began, and Ryan shook his head firmly. 

 

“No, you are. You’re not intruding or anything if I say it’s okay,” Ryan said, taking a step towards Shane, who hesitated before smiling gratefully at Ryan. 

 

“Thanks, Ryan,” he said truthfully, and Ryan grinned. “Means a lot to this ol’ demon.” 

 

Ryan chuckled, feeling the buzz of the alcohol. Goddamn, he  _ was _ a lightweight. The fire crackled and suddenly he felt too hot. His face flushed and he licked his lips, which were suddenly dry. He noticed Shane’s eyes tracking the movement. 

 

And  _ wow, _ their eyes were close. Their  _ faces _ were close. Ryan realized belatedly that they were under the mistletoe when Shane leaned forwards and pressed their lips together. 

 

Fireworks exploded in Ryan’s chest, ricocheting all around his body and shorting out his brain. Electricity seemed to fizz where Shane’s lips were touching his. And Shane’s fucking  _ lips, _ holy shit. 

 

They were oddly soft, which Ryan was enjoying, although he felt self-conscious because he knew his own lips were chapped. And they were  _ warm _ \- comfortingly warm, like nothing could ever be wrong. 

 

Shane shuffled closer, slightly awkwardly but both of them disregarded that as Ryan stood on his tiptoes and put his hand behind Shane’s neck to bring him closer. Shane’s hand came to rest on Ryan’s lower back, and more electricity fizzed from there. 

 

Ryan was glad he hadn’t exploded when Shane had kissed him, although he felt as though he might anyways. Shane’s face was warm, too, and Ryan dazedly thought that maybe he was blushing -  _ blushing! _ Because of him! Ryan could hardly believe it. Their noses bumped and Ryan smiled, so Shane was kind of kissing his teeth. But Shane grinned too, and so it was okay, Ryan thought. 

 

Ryan almost felt as though wings would inevitably expand from his chest and carry him away on the winds of love. But he was running out of breath, and so that couldn’t happen, unfortunately. 

 

Ryan pulled away softly, opening his eyes, and saw Shane’s big goofy face, the one that he’d do anything for. Shane grinned at him, and Ryan smiled and laughed slightly, and all was right with the world. 

 

“It’s tradition, you know,” Ryan said softly against Shane’s mouth, and Shane frowned, confused. 

 

“What do you mean?” He muttered, and Ryan glanced up towards the doorframe. Shane followed Ryan’s gaze and saw the mistletoe hanging. Ryan grinned against Shane’s lips, laughing softly. 

 

“It’s tradition to kiss someone under the mistletoe. I don’t know why, though. It just is,” Ryan said, and Shane laughed, too. 

 

“It’s a good tradition,” Shane muttered, before he kissed Ryan again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOGHFGDSJKDLHDLKGD TEY KISSSED BINGCH!!! THEY KISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIR HORNS   
> ok but seriously that was so fun to write im ghdfljdsdkfdfkdlfjdkfja;f;alkdjfl  
> anyways i know that shane has probably gone through a lot of christmases with ryan and so he probably knows what they are by now and stuff but for the sake of the story pretend he has no fuckin clue ok? thanks xoxoxox i love u gusy


	31. 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy christmas boy(friend)s

Ryan woke up with his head on Shane’s chest, and he smiled. 

 

They hadn’t had sex or anything like that (they’d barely even just kissed), but they’d crashed together on Ryan’s couch, watching endless Christmas specials with carols on in the background. 

 

Shane’s chest was warm and comfortable, and Ryan shifted his position so he was more snug against it. Being December, it was sort of cold, even in Los Angeles. He felt Shane’s deep breathing, and its rhythm comforted him. Until he wondered if demons even needed to breathe. He wasn’t quite sure how that worked. He’d ask Shane when Shane woke up. 

 

Then Ryan thought of how he was going to tell Helen. He didn’t really  _ want _ to tell her, if he was being true to himself - he’d rather just keep this hidden. But he’d also rather be with Shane than Helen, and he felt incredibly guilty for even thinking it. 

 

_ Whatever, _ Ryan thought sleepily, nuzzling his face farther into Shane’s shirt,  _ I’ll deal with it after the holidays. _

 

Shane’s heartbeat thumped under Ryan’s ear, and he again wondered if it was real or just an illusion. Another thing to ask Shane. 

 

Ryan couldn’t believe they’d kissed. He couldn’t even remember if Shane had kissed him first, or vice versa - it was sort of fuzzy and clear at the same time. Ryan felt elated every time he remembered it. Now he realized it was something he’d wanted for a very long time, without even realizing it. 

 

Shane’s lips had tasted good - sort of like that fake strawberry taste that chapsticks sometimes had. Maybe Shane had strawberry chapstick. The thought was kind of funny. It made Ryan sort of tingle all over. 

 

Shane groaned in his sleep and tried to roll over, and doing so made Ryan fall onto the ground. Luckily, his head missed the coffee table. Unluckily, his arm didn’t. 

 

“OW,” Ryan protested loudly, and Shane snorted in his sleep. He blearily opened one eye, raised a brow at Ryan, and promptly shut the aforementioned eye. Ryan glared at him. 

 

“Merry Christmas,” Shane mumbled, but since he was half asleep it sounded more like “Muffy Fristmas.” 

 

“Yeah, Merry Christmas to you, too,” Ryan muttered, still somewhat vexed, but quickly brushed it off when he remembered about the kiss. “Oh! I got you a present.” 

 

Shane raised his head, a surprised but pleased expression on his face. “Oh, Ryan, you didn’t have to do that,” Shane said, and Ryan shook his head, going into the back bedroom, where he kept Shane’s gift. 

 

“Here you go,” Ryan said, grinning as he handed it to Shane, who raised an eyebrow at him. Shane unwrapped it gingerly, before grinning as he saw what it was.

 

“Ryan!” Shane laughed, holding up his mug, which read “Certified Bigfoot” with a cartoon of Bigfoot imprinted onto it. In place of Bigfoot’s head, there was Shane’s face. 

 

“I custom ordered it for you. And there’s more inside,” Ryan said, sitting on the wooden coffee table. 

 

Ryan watched as Shane reached inside the mug and pulled out a stick of his favorite deodorant (which Ryan knew was hard to get), some peppermints, some instant cocoa mix, a Bigfoot keychain that lit up like a flashlight and made a roaring noise when you pressed a button, and a gift card to Shane’s favorite restaurant. 

 

Shane’s grin was so wide that Ryan almost thought it would rip his face in half. Instead, Shane gently put down the mug and its contents and threw his arms around Ryan, whose face heated up and he grinned. He’d never really been hugged by Shane before, and it was a nice experience. 

 

It was even nicer when Shane pulled away and then kissed him gently. Ryan closed his eyes and sighed into Shane’s mouth, and he felt Shane smile. 

 

“Thanks, Ry,” Shane muttered against Ryan’s mouth. “I really appreciate it.” 

 

Ryan grinned, a blush dusting his cheeks as he hooked an elbow around Shane’s neck to bring him closer. 

 

“You’re welcome,” Ryan said softly, biting Shane’s lip a little. Shane groaned, which sent a bolt of electricity straight to Ryan’s dick. The kiss was somehow even better than last night, so much better that Ryan could almost ignore both of their morning breaths. 

 

“I got you something, too,” Shane said, smiling against Ryan’s lips. Ryan smiled back, opening his eyes. 

 

“Really?” Ryan asked, and Shane pulled away, nodding sheepishly. Ryan thought it was cute how Shane was blushing. 

 

“Yeah,” Shane said, standing up. “My apartment isn’t far from here. I’ll go grab it and then come back here, alright?” 

 

Ryan nodded, although he was sort of sad to see Shane go. Nevertheless, he waved at Shane as the taller man exited through his doorway. 

 

~

 

A little while later, Shane returned carrying a rectangular package. When he handed it to Ryan, the latter grinned. 

 

“No way. Is this what I think it is?” Ryan asked, smiling widely as he ripped open the wrapping paper. Inside was a complete box set of all the X-Files seasons, remastered with commentary from the actors and directors. 

 

“Holy  _ shit!” _ Ryan exclaimed, nearly jumping up and down. He’d wanted this for a while, but hadn’t gotten around to getting it. “Fuck, Shane! Thanks, man!” He nearly threw himself at Shane, who laughed heartily and embraced Ryan tightly. 

 

“You’re welcome, Ry-guy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL IDGDKLGDKLFSFKJSLF IM WORKING ON A SPEEDPAINT OF THE BOYS BUT ITS NOT RENDERING CORRECTLY! ILL HIT YALL UP WITH THE LINK WHEN ITS DONE AND YOU CAN TELL ME HOW IT IS AHGDKLJF
> 
> this is........como se dice.....GAYYY


	32. 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aw family dinner

They were one hour into dinner with Ryan’s family and everything was going smooth, for the most part. Shane and Ryan’s dad had talked sports for a while (Ryan hadn’t even known that Shane liked sports), Shane and Ryan’s mom had talked about cooking (again, something Ryan didn’t know Shane was into), and Ryan’s youngest cousin, Amanda, who was 13 and noticed everything, had announced loudly that she thought she’d seen Shane’s eyes turn black. Which they had (Shane was trying to wink at Ryan with an extra demon-y twist) - but Amanda didn’t need to know that. Ryan simply informed her that it had been a trick of the light and gently reminded her that she could be insane. She’d scoffed and walked away, and everything was calm again. 

 

“This is fantastic, Mrs. Bergara,” Shane said, swallowing a large bite of turkey. Ryan’s mom laughed. 

 

“Thank you, Shane. You know, it’s so nice having you here. It was unexpected, but it’s a pleasant surprise for sure.” Ryan’s mom said, smiling warmly at Shane, who smiled back, adjusting his glasses. Ryan smiled to himself, glad that they were getting along. 

 

“So how’s the show coming along, son?” Ryan’s dad asked, and Ryan looked up, smiling. He always liked it when people asked about Unsolved, because he loved telling them about it. 

 

“It’s great. We’ve gone to lots of places this season, Shane and I. I’ve been really scared, there were a few close calls -” 

 

“Close calls?” His mother interrupted, a worried tone in her voice. “I don’t like the sound of that.” 

 

“Oh, no, I don’t mean, like, I almost died or anything like that,” Ryan said quickly, knowing that his mom was imagining horrible scenarios. “I just meant that, like, we almost got proof.” 

 

“Oh,” said Ryan’s mom, obviously relieved. “I see. Well, that’s good that you’re safe. Too bad about the proof, though.” 

 

Ryan nodded. “Yeah. But one of these days, I’m sure we’ll get proof, right, Shane?” Ryan asked, grinning at Shane from across the table. Shane grinned back, and within a heartbeat his eyes changed. He was fucking lucky that Amanda was sitting next to him, not across from him, so she couldn’t see. Jake did, but he just frowned and squinted, not saying anything (per the usual Jake fashion). 

 

“Oh, I’m sure,” Shane said, an air of sarcasm in his tone. Ryan grinned and almost told him to go fuck himself, but then he remembered that he was at Christmas dinner with his family, so he caught himself. Shane smirked like he knew exactly what Ryan had been about to say. 

 

The rest of the dinner went without a hitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT YALL HERES THE SPEEDPAINT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRZDRiMe2HA&t=6s
> 
> it's not great and i made numerous mistakes plus the fact idk how to color hair lmfao. also my hands are super shaky so i don't have straight lines lolllll anyways enjoy


	33. 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryan talks with helen

“Helen...can we talk?”

 

“That doesn’t sound good,” Helen joked, walking over to sit next to Ryan, although there was a worried tone in his voice. “I hope it’s not bad?” 

 

Ryan looked at her with a sorrowful expression, and her face sank. 

 

“It is bad news,” she answered herself quietly, and Ryan nodded, feeling incredibly guilty for what he was about to do. 

 

“Listen, Helen, you know I love you. I love you so much. And these past three years have been incredible, and I’m so lucky to have shared them with you. But...Helen, I…” Ryan trailed off, not sure how to approach the topic. 

 

“You’re breaking up with me?” Helen asked sadly, and Ryan looked up at her with tears in his eyes, nodding. 

 

“I’m so sorry, Helen. It’s not you, it’s definitely not you at all. You’ve been the perfect girlfriend and I don’t deserve you at all. But I’m...I’m not…” Ryan sighed, steeling his nerves. “I’m gay.” 

 

As Helen’s eyes widened and her jaws dropped, Ryan thought of doing the same. He’d never thought of himself as gay before, but as he said it he knew it was true. He’d never really liked girls, he realized, just liked the  _ idea _ of them. But he’d never felt truly close to any of his partners - even Helen. That is, until Shane. 

 

“I didn’t know until, like, a week or two ago. But I needed time to figure it out, I didn’t want to - I didn’t want to spring it on you right before the holidays. I’m so sorry, Helen, I’m so sorry.” Ryan said, looking sadly at Helen as the tears spilled from his eyes. She was crying, too, but she nodded. 

 

“I appreciate the fact that you waited, but I...this is a lot to process, Ryan.” With that, she got up, grabbed her jacket, and left his apartment without another word. Ryan let out a sob and buried his head in his hands. 

 

What had he just done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALLLL im sorry i made this so sad but i had to write yall a chapter. PSA: i won't be writing for a few days because i have the beginnings of carpal tunnel in my right hand, so i need to not type or write or draw or anything like that for a few days, just to rest it and so the nerve swelling goes down. my hand is literally lowkey swollen lol. so that's the reason this chapter is so short, i couldn't write a lot. sorry for the inconvenience! 
> 
> btw my tumblr is nnuberart.tumblr.com if u wanna follo me hint hint


	34. 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK BABY! my hands all good now. anyways a small convo between the boys

“I broke up with Helen,” Ryan said bleakly when Shane asked him how he was the next day. Concern was immediately etched into Shane’s face, but the sight of his gigantic head made Ryan feel a little better. “It was for the best.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Ryan. I hope you didn’t feel like you had to do that because of me,” Shane said, scooting his desk chair closer to Ryan as he lowered his voice. Ryan shook his head.

 

“No. Well, partly. No, listen,” Ryan said hastily, because he could see protest on Shane’s face - “I’d been thinking about doing that for a long time. I’d fallen out of love with her. Hell, I don’t even know if I ever  _ was _ in love with her.” 

 

Shane hesitated for a moment, and then looked at Ryan. “Ryan...are you gay?” 

 

Ryan hadn’t expected Shane to ask that - he’d thought it was pretty obvious and he’d also thought he’d never have to think about that again. But that was ridiculous, and of course he did. 

 

“...I think so. And that’s what I told Helen, but she...she kind of, um... _ rushed out _ on me.” Ryan said, scratching the back of his head. Shane raised an eyebrow.

 

“Well, there you have it, then, buckaroo. So I guess I should come clean, too.” 

 

Ryan looked up at him, vaguely confused. He sort of assumed Shane was gay, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was straight and not a demon and either Ryan was in a coma and this was his wildest fantasy, or he was perhaps going insane. Ryan was beginning to lose his mind when Shane put up his hands, a knowing look on his face.

 

“Stop it. I can see you starting to go crazy. I’m confessing. You probably already suspected, but I’m not the straightest guy either. Now, let me explain,” Shane said, leaning forwards even more so he could be quieter. “Demons don’t care about that kind of thing. I certainly don’t. Hell, I’m a fucking  _ demon _ , Ryan. Our whole existence - according to the Westboro, anyways - centers around making people sin, which includes ‘gay.” Shane made heavy, exaggerated air quotes around the word “gay,” and Ryan laughed. 

 

Shane smirked, then became serious again. “When I came to earth, I wanted an entirely new identity. And that included sexuality. Sure, I was still gay, but for the sake of putting on a human facade, I pretended to be straight. Just to blend in more. Looking back, I was probably a little too paranoid, but, hey, hindsight 20/20, am I right, Ry-guy?” 

 

Ryan grinned, shaking his head. “So this entire time you’ve been gay and I’ve been going mad because I thought you were straight?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “Just trying to clarify here.” 

 

Shane nodded. “Yep, pretty much. And, hey, listen - the only reason I’m dating Sara,” Shane said, lowering his voice even more, “is because I had to keep up the facade. But now we’re, like, a thing, so I don’t have to do that anymore. It’s - listen, she’s nice and all, but I don’t like her like that. Not one bit. I hate kissing her, it doesn’t feel right.” 

 

Ryan’s eyes widened, partly because he never thought he’d live to see the day where Shane Madej said he didn’t like Sara - and partly because that’s how Ryan himself had felt when he kissed Helen. 

 

“You know...I think I understand what you mean,” Ryan said, and Shane nodded. 

 

“Yeah. So I’m breaking up with my girlfriend, too. We’re in this club together, buckaroo,” Shane said, clapping Ryan on the back as he scooted his chair to his desk again. Ryan stared after him for a minute, then chuckled.

 

“Yeah. I guess we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw i mean no disrespect to sara or helen in writing any of this. personally i love helen, she's so amazing and fantastic and just kgdjgsl;fd she and ryan make such a great couple. on the other hand, i don't really like sara. i love her art since she's an amazing artist but she annoys me to the max. anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter lmfao


	35. 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEY YALL SORRY I'VE BEEN SO ABSENT LATELY!!! i haven't forgotten about you, i promise! i've just had pretty severe writers block and ive just gotten back into it. anyways, some exciting shit happens in this chapter (but it gets even better later on). enjoy!

“So, I gotta tell you something.” 

 

Ryan looked up from his couch into his boyfriend’s (his boyfriend’s!) goofy face. 

 

“What is it, Madej?” Ryan asked, and Shane chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head with his hand. 

 

“So...I gotta disappear for a few days,” he began, and Ryan frowned. 

 

“What do you mean,  _ disappear? _ What’s going on, Shane? Are you in trouble?” Ryan asked, concerned. 

 

Shane began to shake his head, then paused, and shrugged. “Well, to put it simply: I gotta go back home for a few days. It’s my mom’s...well, not  _ birth _ day, per se, since demons aren’t born. But more like...I dunno, forming day? Anyways, it’s her special day, and I have to go home.” 

 

Ryan’s eyes widened. “Wait, like, to Hell? Seriously? Can I come?” 

 

Now Shane shook his head for real, and Ryan frowned at him. 

 

“Oh, no. No, it’s way too dangerous. For starters, the fires would immediately burn you to a crisp, and then if that didn’t happen, you’d get attacked by demons. So no, I’m not taking you. I mean, I do know a fire-retardant spell, but - nope! Sorry, buckaroo, it’s too dangerous,” Shane said, leaning down as he kissed the top of Ryan’s head. But Ryan had seen an opening. 

 

“Well, if you know a fire spell or whatever, that’s great. But didn’t you say that since you’re, like, royal or whatever, you repel other demons? Like, lesser demons? So the demon thing wouldn’t be a problem, right?” Ryan asked, and Shane shook his head.

 

“No, I said I  _ attract _ demons  _ because _ I’m royal. I’m just strong enough to effortlessly fight them off. Plus, there’s way more - like billions more - down there than there are up here. And I can’t fight off my family, they’re stronger than I am,” Shane said, and Ryan made his best sad face. Shane sighed. 

 

“I’m sorry, Ryan. I leave tomorrow.”

 

So, naturally, Ryan spent the rest of the night and all of the next morning pestering Shane to take him. 

 

“Oh, fine! I can see you aren’t going to relent, so fine. Just don’t blame me if you get fuckin’ murked by some demons,” Shane grumbled, and Ryan grinned wider than he ever had.

 

“Oh, I won’t, Shane, don’t worry. I’m a big tough boy, I can handle myself.” 

 

Shane rolled his eyes. “Sure, Ryan.” 

 

So later in the day, Shane opened up the portal, and it was quite possibly the coolest thing Ryan had ever seen. 

 

“It’s kind of like when Doctor Strange opens up those portals of his. Only this is cooler,” Ryan said, and Shane laughed, nodding. He turned to Ryan, his face suddenly serious. 

 

“Okay, a few ground rules first. One, you have to stay by me at all times. Two, you can’t speak unless spoken to. In the demon world, if you say one wrong thing, a bunch of demons are going to take advantage of that and, like, try to steal your soul. Or something. Something not good. Demons are masters at wordplay, and they love to twist your words and find loopholes in everything. It’s really aggravating for you humans, I can tell. Must drive you up the wall,” Shane said, and Ryan rolled his eyes.

 

“Okay, fine. No speaking unless spoken to. And I’ll stay by you at all times.” Ryan repeated, and Shane looked pleased. 

 

“Good. Oh! Another thing. Demons are inherently attracted to human presences. It’s just a thing. I don’t know. And it doesn’t help that you’re as beacon-y as you are. And so I think I’ll have to mark you, which isn’t a big deal, don’t worry,” Shane said, and Ryan raised his hands.

 

“Hold on. What do you mean by  _ beacon-y? _ And what’s marking?” Ryan was beginning to have second thoughts about all of this. Shane sighed. 

 

“You can’t see it, obviously, but when I - or any demon - looks at you, it’s almost like they’re seeing a beacon, and they’re drawn to it like moths to a light. Exactly like that, actually. Some people are beacons, and some aren’t. It just depends on the person. You, unfortunately, are one. I’ve gotten used to it, so I mostly overlook it. But other demons...well, that’s a different story,” Shane said, and Ryan nodded slowly. 

 

“Right. Okay. So, what’s marking, then?” Ryan asked, and Shane sighed again. 

 

“It’s, like - I have to mark your soul. So all other demons are more likely to stay away from you, and I won’t really have to fight them off. They want to feed on you, Ryan. They like fear, and there’s...well, you’re you,” Shane said simply, and Ryan glowered at him. 

 

_ “I’m me? _ Asshole,” Ryan grumbled, and Shane laughed. 

 

“Yeah. But if they see my mark on you, they’ll keep away. The only thing is, the mark will always stay there, for the rest of your life, and probably beyond that, too. And another thing - if I mark you, you may or may not go to Hell when you die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it just me or are the postmortems (and the episodes but mostly the postmortems) getting gayer


	36. 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OMG YALL. HERES A TOO SHORT CHAPTER ILL EXPLAIN MORE IN THE AFTER COMMENTS

“Woah, woah, woah. What the fuck?  _ Hell? _ And what do you mean,  _ may or may not?” _ Ryan exclaimed, taking a few steps back. Shane smiled drily. 

 

“Well, yeah. But I’ll try my darnedest to make sure that’s not what happens. I’m royal. I got influence, you know,” Shane said, and Ryan stared suspiciously at him. 

 

“Will it hurt?” He finally asked, and Shane laughed, shaking his head. 

 

“You might feel tingly, but that’s all,” Shane replied, and Ryan hesitated before nodding and stepping closer. 

 

Shane reached out and put his large hand on Ryan’s chest, and he was right; Ryan did feel tingly. But he didn’t think it was because of magic. 

 

And then a scorching pain shot through Ryan from head to toe, and he yelled out in agony, his legs collapsing beneath him. His chest was on  _ fire, _ he was sure it was, and he was disintegrating, he was absolutely convinced - 

 

...And then the pain left as quickly as it had come, and a warm, comforting feeling spread through him, healing his body from its trauma, and then a great strength surged into him, and he felt like he could crush the world with one hand. 

 

Shane took his own hand away and looked at Ryan, a concerned look on his face. 

 

“You okay?” He asked, and Ryan looked at him in disbelief.

 

_ “Am I okay? _ You asshole, you said it wouldn’t hurt! Dickbrain,” Ryan huffed indignantly, and Shane chuckled.

 

“Yeah, well, you wouldn’t have done it if I’d said it would hurt. Besides, I healed you, so you really should be thanking me,” Shane said, and Ryan glared at him. 

 

“If you hadn’t done that, I would have no reason to thank you. Fuckhole,” Ryan said, and Shane rolled his eyes affectionately. 

 

“Alright, Ry-guy. Come here. We have to put a fire spell on you first,” Shane said, but Ryan snatched his arm away as Shane reached for it. 

 

“This isn’t ‘not going to hurt’ either, is it?” Ryan asked suspiciously, and Shane shook his head. 

 

“Nope. This is a way less serious spell, so I promise this time, honest-to-Satan, that it will not hurt,” Shane said, and grasped Ryan’s arm. 

 

Another warmth suddenly stemmed from where Shane was holding him, and then Ryan found that he was at the exact correct temperature. Shane let go of his arm, and Ryan looked at it with interest. 

 

“Cool. Where can I learn to be a wizard?” Ryan asked, and Shane scoffed. 

 

“It’s not wizardry. It’s way cooler than that. It’s...demon-ry,” Shane said, and then grabbed Ryan’s arm and pulled him into the portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i'm so sorry that i've been so absent from yall. i've had intense writers block and then i'm sidetracked with other things too. i keep forgetting to write and then when i do its too short, i'm aware. i'm really super sorry and i hope you all forgive me, i've just been busy with my summer and irl is going pretty good for me rn so i'm out walking and livin my life you feel? im obviously still going to write but i'm gonna think about wrapping this story up in the next 20-40 chapters (im sorry about that). but anyways, i hope you enjoyed this chapter so we don't have to think about the story ending! and don't worry, it will be a happy ending :)


	37. 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> adventures in hell

“Wow,” Ryan said as they walked through...well, Hell. “There’s hot dogs here. Pretty progressive for Hell.” 

 

Shane chuckled. “Yeah, remember that hot dog video we did for Buzzfeed?” 

 

Ryan’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. No. No! You actually - fuck,  _ that’s _ why you said that?!” Ryan exclaimed, and Shane laughed heartily. 

 

“Yeah. I wasn’t lying. Why don’t you try one? We have the best chefs here. Well, by Hell standards, anyway,” Shane added, muttering, and Ryan narrowed his eyes. 

 

“You know what? I think I’ll pass. So where’s -” 

 

Ryan was interrupted by what looked like a rotting skull with bat wings and one leg, because it spoke. 

 

“Welcome back, Your Highness,” the thing - the  _ demon _ \- said. Shane looked uncomfortable as he nodded and smiled, and Ryan was simply trying not to throw up. The demon didn’t smell too good, either. 

 

“What...the fuck, dude? Why did it...look like that?” Ryan asked, and Shane sighed. 

 

“It’s because it’s lower-class. We have to walk through one of the shittier neighborhoods to get to the castle, which is over there,” Shane said, pointing to a towering structure in the distance. Ryan’s eyes widened.  

 

“Woah. I don’t know how I missed that. But it’s so far away. And, wait, what do you mean lower class? I’m so confused,” Ryan said, laughing a little. He tried to ignore the fact that he kept noticing demons left and right, and they were all looking at him with what he hoped weren’t hungry-looking expressions. 

 

“Well, lower class demons don’t have very many powers and abilities. The higher up you are in the demon hierarchy, the more powers and abilities you have. That’s why I’m able to make this form for myself. It’s really realistic and it works really well. Lower class demons, like the one we just saw, can’t do that at all. They just scrounge around, being sketchy. You know,” Shane said, and Ryan thought for a moment, then nodded. 

 

“I guess so. That’s kind of how it works in our world, you know? The more money you have, or the higher class you are, you get more privileges,” Ryan said, and Shane nodded.

 

“Exactly. And now, about the distance...we could speed it up, you know,” Shane said, grinning, and Ryan raised an eyebrow. 

 

Before he could say anything, Shane made a noise that was extremely similar to the noise he’d made when they were hunting Bigfoot. Out of nowhere, a huge fucking dog leapt into their path. The dog was bigger than an elephant, and looked like a Rottweiler. It looked like a normal dog, except for its huge size. Oh, and the fact that it had three heads. 

 

Shane laughed joyfully at the sight of the gigantic canine, with its gnashing jaws, gargantuan teeth, and rolling eyes. 

 

“Bear!” Shane exclaimed, and suddenly all the heads were clamoring for Shane’s attention. Shane patted each one individually, and then pulled a large steak seemingly out of the air. Ryan stood frozen, gaping at the dog. 

 

“No fucking way. Is that -” 

 

“Cerberus?” Shane grinned, and Ryan managed to nod. Shane laughed and grinned. “Yeah. I call him Bear, though. He’s my dog - Dad gave him to me on my 700th birthday. Mom wasn’t too pleased, but there really wasn’t anything she could do at that point, because we’d already bonded.” 

 

Ryan gaped, and Shane smirked. 

 

“Hop on, Ryan. He doesn’t bite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "the second you bite into a hot dog, you're making a pact with the devil."

**Author's Note:**

> Confrontation ain't nothin' new to me


End file.
